Monster Pig Can't Read So He Has Fran Drescher Read It For Him

                                    

                                          
Megan Markle was able to get ahold of Fran Drescher through her agent or whatever celebrities do. Fran flew out to the random field everyone found for the fight and made sure she had her reading glasses to read the truce. She cleared her throat in a Long Island accent and then began:
I hereby declare that I, Black Phillip, Satanic Overlord Goat, or just Satan, it's difficult to figure out what exactly I am based on the scant facts on my existence given in the film, do declare a truce with Monster Pig, eldritch pig who I first thought was pure evil but is actually just sort of a chaotic neutral conduit for an eldritch fear being. The following conditions are required for the truce:
•Monster Pig can hang out with Black Phillip as long as he neither eats anyone nor attempts to eat anyone
•Black Phillip can call Monster Pig whenever he wants to create chaos at local gay bars and some select straight bars that gay people claimed and took over.
•Black Phillip cannot disparage Monster Pig's intelligence as it's not his fault he's basically a husk for an ethereal bloodthirsty force to inhabit and force heinous crimes upon others in order to feed its seemingly insatiable appetite.  
If these conditions are followed we may vacate the field and send the tumblr users back to their studio apartments in the part of town where the theme of every restaurant is how badly can I gentrify this historic neighborhood while still seeming woke and cool and why is that solution always a pride flag and vegan menu. Signing below agrees to the above,
Signatures
Monster Pig understood and signed the truce. Harry and Megan signed it with their treason signets (idk if what Harry did is treason but my goal for 2024 is for George the nephew or whatever his deal is to come out as gay and date one of Charli XCX's backup dancers). Everyone was pleased and Fran Drescher was excited for whatever this shit is she got herself into, although she did have to leave early to voice act for the 17th Hotel Transylvania movie.