Chapter Twenty

                                    

                                          
Imani
Megan and I had just finished our nails, we were going to do a bit of last minute shopping. I had asked Kazimir if Megan could come to Italy with us. I was glad he said yes, because I don't think I would have lasted with Kazimir alone. 
Thinking about last night made my heart change rhythm and made me feel so. I feel happy? Unsure? Nervous? Hopeful? I didn't have a clue, but it was something I have never felt before. Nothing like I felt with Juan. If we told each other I love you it was half assed. We knew it wasn't what it was.
I don't love Kazimir, but it was such an intimate exchange. He would sleep with me every night to make the nightmares go away. Why would he do that for me? It would satisfy him, but why? He told me like the last time. With him I would never be alone.
It's saying I wouldn't be alone again, but I knew it was a lie. I want to believe he would get bored, but part of me believes it's not true. It's the way we talked last night. It was too different. He cares about me more than he should.
Megan nudged me and I looked at her. Her eyes narrow slightly and she stares at me curiously. She looks me up and down, then tilts her head.
"Something is going on with you," she said.
"I'm just thinking about something."
She hooks our arms together and I wasn't sure where we were walking, but I couldn't care. 
"Like...."
"Kazimir."
"What about him?"
"We smoked together, then I started falling asleep and I told him I wanted him to stay with me," I started.
"He stayed and you lot fucked? That's nothing new," she shrugged.
"We didn't have sex, we talked."
"About what?"
"I was high, I wasn't thinking so I told him that he makes my nightmares go away," I sigh.
She gasped and she stopped. I have told Megan briefly about my nightmares and when we first met, how I would look really tired sometimes. 
"Oh shit, so what did he say?"
"Well he first said I like you're open with me, but then he said..."
"If cuddling you every night makes your nightmares go away, then we can do it every night," I quoted.
"Holy shit, he said exactly those words?"
"Yep."
Megan didn't say anything for a few seconds. Saying what he said out loud only made me realize the seriousness of his words. He wants to be with me in bed every single night. How long would that even be for? 
We would be cuddling and talking. Maybe even sometimes fucking, but that would be every night. There was also the kiss, the fucking kiss. It was like a kiss like never before. Something I wasn't used to. A kiss I have never even had before.  Megan was going to speak, but I went first.
"We kissed, but it wasn't a sloppy make out kiss. It just felt so good when we were kissing with just lips. I got butterflies from the kiss," I said.
"Shit, gurll a wigga is locked in. He literally said if you're at peace, I'm cool. If you aren't doing good, I'm not doing good," she said, happily.
She had this massive smile on her face, but I wasn't smiling. I wasn't even sure if that's what he means, but that's exactly what it means. I was letting Megan lead and she was giggling her ass off.