19:unfamilar feelings

                                    

                                          
𝐂𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐓𝐓
We had finished watching tangled and began to watch beauty and the beast, he had complained multiple times. He secretly loved it. But I made sure he stayed quiet and sat through it. My hand had got a little cramp from giving him head scratches the whole time. I think it was the only things keeping him quiet. 
We had finished all the strawberries and I felt like I was going to pop. 
I checked my phone to see it was 11:07pm and I was getting really tired. I left out a small yawn and he looked up to me. His eyes were so pretty. 
"Your tired?" he asked and I nodded. He slowly got up and stretched slightly. "You sure I can't tempt you to sleep in my bed" he grinned and I chuckled. What worried me was, I really really wanted to sleep in his bed. It was big and it would have him in it. But I didn't want to wake up, having a nightmare and have to explain it to him. Or explain why I had to keep a light on while sleeping.
"I'm sure" I smiled and he nodded, not willing to push me. I turned the tv off and the only light was the lights outside. The dark. 
I felt my heart drop and I wasn't listening to hear Christian get up and walk off. I stayed sat on the sofa, looking around me for a source of light. The darkness became a dreaded thing, a thing that made my heart feel heavy. All that comes to me is the voice of him and the sounds of my mum yelling at me, blaming me. 
"You coming?" he asked as he turned the hallway light on and I felt my stomach lift slightly. I left out a breath and nodded. He began to walk to his room and stopped when he got to his door, waiting to say goodnight to me. 
I got to where he was and looked up to him from the floor. He reached out snd unexpectedly pulled me towards him. Just as I was pressed up against his chest, he smashed his lips into mine and I felt my stomach twirl. Goddammit. 
The kiss was deep, no tongues but a nice long peck. My hands were flat on his chest and his hand was still holding his shirt, that I had on, in a fist. It felt like he was sucking the air out of my lungs, but in a good way. 
When he pulled away, it was gentle and slow. I felt his lips part from mine and my eyes reopened. My breathing was heavy and he was looking at me with a smirk. 
Without even saying goodnight, he just walked back and shut his door. I was left standing at his door, completely taken back. What was that? 
I shook it off and walked to the spare room. I walked into the room and turned the light on, shutting the door behind me. It had a tv in here and I thought about watching some before I went to bed but my eyelids felt way too heavy. 
I headed for the on-suite bathroom, to take my makeup off. 
I wondered if any other women had been in here. I knew he said he didn't date but he said he lost count of how many people he had slept with. Maybe that's why I also didn't want to sleep in his bed, even though it was literally just sleeping. I wouldn't put it past him that hundreds of women had been in that bed, doing things with him I'd rather not think about. 
Something about thinking about him and another woman, made my blood boil. I had no claim over him, nor did I want one, but I got a feeling where I wanted go off on any woman who even tried to look at him. Pathetic, I know. 
And that would make me a very busy woman considering how much female attention he gets, hey even Jay would go there with him if he had the chance. 
I threw my dirty make up wipes in the bin and pondered back into the bedroom. I turned the lamp on and turned the main light off. It was just the perfect amount of brightness.