Hurts

                                    

                                          
April 21st 2021
Deku's POV
I haven't left my room. Once we got back from the water park I locked myself in my room. I texted Uraraka that I wasn't feeling well so she wouldn't come but I'm sure she knew what was really going on. She still didn't come though so I guess it worked. Seeing Kiri wasn't a good thing right now. What he did was unforgivable. He took his anger out on me. Why me? I did nothing to him. The fact that it was the person closest to Kacchan that did it was what was pissing me off the most. Does he even know how madly in love with Kacchan I am. How depressed I am right now. How hard it is to see him throw himself all over Kacchan. I wanted to go back in time and fight back. However I know I actually wouldn't. If I hurt Kiri won't Kacchan hate me more? He would never even speak to me again. I can't let that happen. As I sit wallowing in self pity, I hear my phone vibrate a few times. Someone was calling me. I didn't even get up to check who it was. I didn't care. I was a little embarrassed about yesterday. I also felt bad because I left Uraraka hanging again. Now that I was her boyfriend it was even worse for me to do that. 
I hear a knock at my door and with no intention to open it I sit there in silence. "Open the door Midoryia" Todoroki's voice on the other side of the door seemed calm enough. I sat there a little longer in silence debating whether I should open the door or not. "I need to talk to you." I sighed in defeat. I walked over and opened the door. Todoroki wasted no time getting in my room and closing the door behind him. I go to walk back to my bed but am quickly turned around to face Todoroki. His face seemed conflicting. His eyebrows were furrowed, sweat dripped down his face and he stared at me so intensely I started to get nervous. "Todoroki what? Do I have something on my face? Are you mad at me? What?" Just as I started to panic He spoke again. "Midoryia, be honest." He looked away. "It's Bakugou. Right?" It took a second to register what he was asking. He had put two and two together. I told him I was in love with someone. How the hell did he find out? "No, i-its not Kacchan" my voice cracking the whole time I said that made it unconvincing. Todoroki didn't even so much as smirk though. "I-" his voice broke. "I want to take back what I said Midoryia." What? Take back what? "The other day, you said that you loved someone and that they would never love you back. Based on that I told you what I thought was your best option with the information I was given. Yet somehow after finding out you love Kacchan. I've been thinking about recent events, older events, and see... I think he may love you too." The words left his lips causing me to chuckle. "Kacchan, love me? Are you mad? Anyone can see that he hates me." My response was immediate and obvious. Anyone who thought Kacchan even so much as liked me must not know Kacchan very well. However this was not the case with Todoroki. Todoroki had grown close with Kacchan when they were getting their provisional license. Kacchan even took an internship at Endeavors agency with Todoroki and I in our first year. Todoroki had Kacchan's respect and vice versa. So I could at least listen to why this was Todoroki's assumption. "Why do you think he likes me back." I wouldn't allow myself to get my hopes up. I used to do that when I was younger, it would always lead to disappointment. "Well, the way he looks at you when you're not looking, the fact that the only person that gets to call him a pet name is you, when you two fight he seems to be in worse of a mood than his usual crappy mood, and well the other day at the water park. Bakugou followed you and Uraraka to the restroom. He came back crying and left almost immediately. That's when Kirishima went to the restroom. I thought I'd follow and that's how I found him pounding on you." Wait what? Kacchan saw what happened in that bathroom? It made him cry? "I noticed that the person you love was Bakugou because when you ran out, instead of looking for Uraraka I noticed you looking for the one person that wasn't there anymore. Bakugou." He stopped talking, as if he was giving me time to register all this information. My mind drew a blank. Never in a million years had I ever thought that Kacchan would actually like me back. Yet here was a person I trusted, giving me facts that strongly backed up the theory. "Midoryia he likes you." He grabbed my hands and got closer to me. "Go talk to him." My ears were ringing, the only thing I could hear was my own heart beat. For a second I allowed myself to get my hopes up. I quickly regained my senses. "Kacchan hates me. If I ever told him about my feelings all it would do is make things awkward. I'm sorry but you're wrong. He probably likes Uraraka or something that's why it made him cry." Todoroki's shoulders sank where he stood and his expression changed to that of a scowl. "At least think about what I've said. Start paying attention to Bakugou with the thought in your head that he may like you. You'll see what I mean." He turned around and left. As much as I wanted to belive his words I knew that just simply wasn't reality. Kacchan loving me was one thing I knew to be impossible. He had hated me since we were children. I tried desperately all my life to get him to care about me but he always pushed me away. Those actions don't scream love and affection to me. 
Hours had passed of me thinking of Kacchan. All his actions, everything he's ever said to me, all the pain and bullying he put me through. I just refused to belive that he could possibly love me. Then again I could see how others would think the same thing about the fact that I'm in love with him. They'd think I was a masochist, I am not. I see past his angry exterior. I know the real Kacchan. He's motivated, completely and 100% driven. Nothing would make me happier than to call such a strong and beautiful person mine. To wake up to his artistically perfect face everyday is something I had only imagined possible in my dreams. When I found out Kacchan was no longer in OFA it broke my heart. I thought I would have a connection to him forever. There is nothing now. ~
Kacchan's POV
I had put all the presents back in the chest without opening a single one. I didn't want them. I didn't deserve them. I wanted this to mean something it didn't. Deku was so innocent. All these gifts were bought for his childhood friend. I wanted something from him that said I was much more than a friend. Not that I even knew what I would get that could say that. I was being unreasonable at this point and I knew that. It ticked me off that I couldn't just calm down. Looking at these presents just pissed me off even more. I kept replaying that scene in my head over and over again. It was impossible to get it out of my head. Thinking of his beautiful voice as he agreed to be hers. It made me want to vomit. I hated the way it made me feel. The jealousy, the anger and the insecurity fumigated in my chest. Suddenly I jumped up swinging my door open. I grab the chest and drag it out the room and down the hall not closing my door. I stop once I'm in front of Deku's room. My fist ready to bang against the door when suddenly I stopped before I made an a*s of myself. I didn't want to be mean about it. Being nice was also out of the question. I don't know how to do that. I decided to knock and run back to my room. I knew he would still know it was me who had just knocked but I still would rather that than have to see him right now. I knocked hard 3 times and ran. He opened his door immediately. I hadn't even made it half way down the hallway. "Kacchan?" His sweet voice called to me and I inadvertently turned around. Suddenly I saw his beautiful face swollen, his eyes blackened slightly. "Deku, w-what happened?" I walked up to him and before I realized what I was doing touched his cheek. I felt heat run up to my cheeks and my heart beat faster. I can't believe I did that. I pull my hand away and it's suddenly caught by Deku. His eyes staring deep into mine. It caused my heart to beat faster than it already was and my breathing became shallow. What is he doing? "Kacchan." He said it again. There was no questionable tone in his voice. With no other context it confused me, but also excited me. This was too intense I felt my heart would burst out of my chest any second. I push Deku back as I back up as well. Breathing heavily and clearly hot and bothered I had to get out of there. I turn to leave and that's when I hear it. "Kacchan, do you-" He pauses as if he is unsure if he should finish the question. "Do you like me?" I felt my heart sink. I dreaded this question from him. What could I say. Do I tell him that I am so f*cking in love with him. Do I play coy? If I do tell him what then? He's with someone now. There's no guarantee he feels the same. I'd just be outing myself for no reason. "No, I mean I don't hate you. But you annoy me." You don't "Your voice is aggravating" It's beautiful "Your face pisses me off" It's the most beautiful thing on the planet, it's relaxing. "I can't wait to join an agency and get away from you." Don't leave me. My back was still facing him and that was a good thing too because I had started crying. I couldn't hold it back. Why was I saying such hurtful things? Don't ask me I don't know why I'm like this. I didn't really feel that way. "Right, I thought so." I heard disappointment in his voice but I had probably imagined it. "So is that why you're returning my gifts?" I refused to turn around. If he saw me crying he would question everything I'm saying. "I didn't open any of them because I told you long ago I want nothing from you." and with that I walked away. I needed to get back to my room, away from Deku. 
I closed the door to my bedroom and crawled into bed finally releasing the tears I had been trying hold back. They came out in sobs. Thank God I was able to muffle it by sinking my head into my pillow. I'm so pathetic.~
~Time Skip~
August 13th 2021
Deku's POV
Months went by. Our class had finally graduated. I had joined Endeavors agency upon Todorokis and Endeavors request. He was the #1 hero agency after all. Kacchan has the offer as well, but without his quirk. Endeavor will not allow him to work. Until he gets it back he isn't allowed to do hero work even though he is technically a fully licensed hero. I had tried to fight this for him on several occasions, but to no avail. No one was willing to take a bet on a quirkless hero no matter how talented he was with a quirk. I haven't seen Kacchan since graduation, so I had no idea if he was even ok. Where was he staying? I knew I had no right to ask. Besides I'm sure Uraraka would be upset if she found out I had asked around about Kacchan. We lived together now. She shared my bed with me. She cooked me dinner and breakfast. She even did my laundry for me even though I'd prefer to do it myself. She did all the things for me that a good spouse would do. She hadn't gotten an offer to join an agency yet so I bet she was just bored. It didn't change the fact that she did all these great things for me. Yet I still did not love her in the way she loves me. I have grown closer to her than I should grow to a friend, but I wanted nothing more than to go back to just being friends. By now I feel like she would hate me. I would just have to suck it up.
Todoroki and I walked down the street, on patrol as usual "So hey I was thinking we could go out for drinks tonight." Todoroki says out of nowhere. "I don't know, Uraraka always complains when I come home later than I am supposed to." It was true. I just didn't want to hear it to be honest. "Well how about you bring Uraraka and I'll bring Momo?" Him and Momo had started dating before graduation but they hadn't told anyone until they were already living together. Having a double date is basically what he was asking. I agreed only because I don't think I've ever taken Uraraka out on a date. I had Momo talk Uraraka into coming. When me and Todoroki got off we met the girls at a bar. The girls had already ordered drinks. Uraraka had taken the liberty of ordering me a "root beer float" I wasn't allowed to drink alcohol apparently. Todoroki spoke about it "You know if he wants to drink he should be able to." I looked at Todoroki and shook my head to indicate the bad situation he was about to create. "I'm not dragging him back toasted. He can't hold his alcohol." She said playing it off and giggling. She was right, but that wasn't the reason she didn't want me to drink. "Really, I'm fine it's OK I'm not a big fan of alcohol." I played it off and sat down next to Uraraka as she wrapped her arms around me possessively. Todoroki didn't seem to like Uraraka very much once we started dating. I never really understood why though so I never bothered to ask. We sat there enjoying "drinks" for a while before we all collectively decided to go home. We decided to take the bus together since our houses weren't far from one another. 
Todoroki and I stand and let the girls sit down. It was awkwardly silent in the bus for some reason and right when I was about to break the ice with a dumb joke or something I heard the sound my ears have been longing to hear for months. "What the hell is wrong with you, die!" My head immediately snapping to the direction the beautiful sound came from. I feel my feet start moving in the direction when I feel a hand grab my arm. I look down to see Uraraka grabbing my arm and looking at me with desperation in her eyes. It didn't matter. I turn back to to see the beautiful angry blond I had missed for months. He was yelling at some guy. Now that I am paying closer attention this guy seemed to be getting handsy with Kacchan. I couldn't hear what was being said but their body language was all wrong. I yank my arm away from Uraraka and quickly walked over to the two. Just as I did I see the guy pull a knife from his pocket. I react so fast that my brain didn't have time to catch up with my actions until I had the guys hand twisted behind his back with his pathetic knife laying on the ground. "Aghhhh what-" "Don't talk, trash." I was pissed. How dare he try to hurt Kacchan. My vision was filled with red. I was shaking and I refused to let go of the hold I had on this guy. No matter how hard he resisted. Suddenly I heard Uraraka. "Deku what are you doing let him go." She went to touch me but I yanked away "Don't touch me" It came out of my mouth before I thought about what to say. She was only pissing me off more. She doesn't even know the situation, how is she going to just walk up and start making demands. This is why she can't get a job at an agency, you'd think she'd know this already. Just as I started to lose my cool I felt a hand rest on my shoulder. I look up to see the soft and pale skin that belongs to Kacchan. My eyes meet his deep red ones. "Deku, don't let him go. He is sexually harassing me he needs to go to jail." That was all I needed to hear to tighten my grip on his arm. I pulled out my phone and dialed the Police cheifs number 
Him: Hello?
Me: Yes sir, this the hero Deku, I have a perp in custody who needs to be booked. He was caught sexually harassing a person on the bus.
Him: Hero Deku will you please tell me what bus number you're on.
I told him and he agreed to have a car there to transport the perp but Kacchan had to go down and make his statement too. I agreed to go with him since I was a witness to it. Uraraka argued with me about that until the bus stopped. She wanted to come with me since I "had" to go but her coming was unnecessary. Fortunately for me there were only two seats in the front of the cop car and only the perp was allowed to ride in back so only Kacchan and I could go anyways. Uraraka was forced to go back home. From the bus stop with Momo and Todoroki, like planned. 
Kacchan and I were separated the minute we got there. He had to make a statement and so did I. Once I was done I was told Kacchan hadn't left yet. So I decided to wait for him out here. 
Kacchan's POV
The second I saw him again I felt my heart beat like it didn't beat since the last time I saw him. That guy was harassing me. I felt useless. I can't just attack him, I'd lose my license, I didn't have my quirk to detain him either. Seeing Deku right then and there was perfect. What's even better is that he came with me. Uraraka didn't like it either, she insisted on coming but couldn't. It gave me pleasure but also made me feel like sh*t about myself. They were together. Feeling this way was icky. After I made my statement. I was told I could leave. I walked out of the room I was in and there he was. Sitting in the chair right outside. It look like he had started to doze off. I slowly approach him. I wanted nothing more than to sit there and stare at him for the rest of my life. However I knew he was already in trouble going home I didn't want to add to it. I lightly shake his shoulder to wake him. He groans as he opens his eyes and sees me. "Hey we should go now. We've been here for hours and I'm sure you need to get home." I didn't realize how out of character I sounded until I saw Deku's eyes widen. I felt my cheeks heat up. I back away "S-so w-we should get going. You don't want to keep Uraraka waiting." The bright look on his face fell once her name was mentioned. He looked away. "Yea I guess so." He stood up slipping his hands in his coat pockets. "I'll walk you home first." He said still not looking at me. "Actually I'm fine, I don't want you to get in tr-" "I'm a grown man, no one has any say over what I do but me. You were just assaulted. It's also really dark outside. Any thing could happen to you." He had walked closer to me until he was only inches from me. "Unless you really just can't stand to be around me long enough for you to get home safely." It astonished me how Deku could seem so non chalant while practically begging me to walk me home. I wanted him to walk me home but, I also wanted so much more. I wanted him to come home with me. Not Uraraka. I wanted him to be mine. "You can walk me home." It came out barely audible but he heard me anyways. "Ok then let's go." He suddenly grabs my arm gently and begins walking. What is he doing? He wrapped his arm in mine at the elbows and used his other hand to add pressure to the exposed side of my arm as we walked out. My heart began to climb into my throat. My heart was pounding and I felt my hands begin to sweat. His hand slowly made its way into mine as we walked down the street towards the bus stop. Neither of us made a peep. Then again I was quiet because my breath was constricting. I however wasn't going to question it. Once we got on the bus Deku let me sit down. He stood in front of me. Yet he never let go of my hand. I could feel his eyes on me. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was so nervous and so excited that he was holding my hand. How is it that I haven't seen this damn nerd since graduation but nothing's changed. My feelings if anything have grown stronger. Why? I knew he would never be mine. So why can't I let go? I felt a squeeze on my hand. I look up only slightly and am met with Deku's gaze. Bad idea. My heart starts pounding again. But before I could look away, Deku's finger lightly pushes my head up. Forcing my eyes to look into his. "Why are you so flustered Kacchan?" His voice was so deep it caused me to shiver. His face growing closer and closer to mine. Suddenly I hear the giggling. Deku's head snaps in the direction. I look over to see a group a 3 girls staring at Deku and I with big eyes while giggling. What the hell? "Mind your own business!" I screamed at them before realizing it. The girls jump back giving me looks of fear. They quickly get up and move to the other side of the bus leaving me there fuming. They had interrupted something. Before I could do anything Deku speaks "I didn't know you'd be that mad about us being interrupted Kacchan." I looked up to see a huge smirk on Deku's face. What is happening am I in a dream? I pinched myself and winced at the pain. I wasn't dreaming. The beautiful laughter I hadn't heard in months filled my ears. "Hahaha ha Kacchan what was that? Why did you pinch yourself?" He slowly stopped laughing as he caught his breath. I couldn't take my eyes off him. I had missed that smile. I suddenly remembered me telling him those awful things in the hallway the night after the water park. When he asked if I liked him. I pulled away and began biting my finger nails. How could I really sit here and be this selfish. "Uh Kacchan? You ok?" He asked me in such a sweet and innocent voice. I finally snapped. "I lied Deku." I felt like my heart had stopped. I was going to tell him. I'll finally tell him. "Lied about what?" He honestly seemed confused. This wasn't going to be easy was it. I sighed. "Deku, I l-like you." It felt like time stood still for a second. Deku's face turned from confusion into a blank expression. I'm sure he was mad at me. I had lied and made him feel like sh*t about himself. All to keep him from finding out my feelings. The bus stops and when I look I realize that it's my stop. I was grateful, I stood up finally breaking contact from Deku. I walk out and to my surprise Deku followed "Wait, you're still walking me home?" He wouldn't look at me. "I am" my heart was pounding still and showed no signs of slowing down anytime soon. 
4231 Words