Chapter 17: I am rest in peace if you aim

                                    

                                          
🥀YOONGI🥀
I snapped my neck, sitting on the sleeping bag. The thoughts running through my head right now, for what felt like the first time in forever, weren't related to my job as a reaper. For the first time I wasn't obsessing over my memories, both the ones I was still to recover and the ones I'd already managed to gain back. 
Instead, my thoughts swirled in a confusion of excitement and nervousness, both sentiments I remembered feeling right before I played in front of an audience. 
Her question had come out of nowhere, getting me by surprise while she stuffed her mouth with the dinner I had prepared. At first, I thought she was joking, so out of place and sudden the question had been, but then she blushed, her cheeks heating up in sync with mine, and I knew she was serious. 
When I was younger, I thought using the expression "butterflies in your stomach" to define the feeling when seeing someone you loved was completely senseless. Butterflies were light winged, gentle, their barely-there touch almost ethereal in a way.
There were no butterflies for me. 
When she reached to touch my cheek, I got startled not only by her touch but by the almost physical pain that assaulted my stomach. Right then there were no butterflies.
It was more like wasps, flying angrily around, stinging my insides in a way that almost had me resting my hand on my stomach to calm them down. And unlike butterflies, the sting of the damn wasps lingered after we parted ways, Yun going to her bedroom, and I to mine. 
I felt the air shift in the room, but I didn't need to look up to see him.
"Here to ruin my fun?" I murmured.
"Well, hello to you too," Hobi answered.
I sighed, scratching the back of my head. Hobi had moved to lean against the computer table, his hands on his pockets, eyeing me up and down. 
His eyes went wide when he looked at my face.
"You're bleeding!"
"What?" 
Only then I felt the uncomfortable tickling sensation above my lip. I rubbed the back of my hand under my nose and it came back bloody. I tipped my head up, tasting blood when I swallowed.
"Why are you bleeding?" Hobi asked, his voice alarmed. He waved a piece of cloth in front of my eyes as I looked at the ceiling. 
"I don't know."
I got the cloth and pressed it against my nose and looked directly at my mentor.
His eyes scanned my face, assessing if I was physically hurt anywhere he could see. Then his worried eyes were on my face and his dark orbs tightened. 
"Have you slept at all?"
I thought for a moment, sniffing against the cloth, and shook my head. 
I hadn't been able to sleep properly since before Sae-Hee went to the hotel I was at in Wonju. A small nap was everything I got in almost two days. 
Hobi's expression hardened for a second, but he relaxed again, sighing. He looked like he had just decided not to scold me after seeing how miserable I looked.
"I can't really blame you," he started, tapping the heel of his lustrous shoe on the floor. "How bad is it?"
I sniffed once more, sparing him a side glance. I didn't want him to pity me, but him being my mentor kind of obligated me to tell him how I was feeling. Besides, it was my sanity we were talking about.