Rather Be

                                    

                                          
Summary: Gender dysphoria is a term that describes a sense of unease that a person may have because of a mismatch between their biological sex and their gender identity.

                          
.
                          
A pair of usually whiskey brown eyes meet yours when she walks through the door, except this time they are clouded with the ocean of tears that dare roll down her face.
                          
You touch her cheek, feeling as Hanji nuzzles herself against your hand desperately looking for some sort of comfort.
                          
"What's wrong?" You ask in a gentle tone, almost as if you are speaking to a stray animal while trying to earn its trust.
                          
"Do you promise to still love me no matter what?" She asks, her hands and lips trembling as she looks at you with desperation in her eyes.
                          
"Sweetheart, of course." You reply, taking her hands on yours and planting a heartfelt kiss on her left thumb. "There is nothing you could say that would make me love you any less than I do right now."
                          
"Are you sure?" Hanji asks in between hiccups. You sigh, pulling her close to your chest and hugging her tightly.
                          
You don't want to admit it but a part of you fears what she has to say. Your mind wanders to awful places and you begin to question your entire relationship, fearing that maybe she has cheated on you or worse.
                          
Tears now form in your eyes as your hands begin to tremble, holding her so tightly you can hear her breath becoming shallow.
                          
"Y/N you're starting to hurt me." She says, a small smile now forming on her lips.
                          
"I'm sorry." You say, sharing a smile of your own, "So what did you want to tell me?"
                          
"I think..." She begins to say, voice barely audible as she finishes her sentence, "I think I'm non-binary."
                          
You fall silent for a few seconds, maybe even minutes, and you can't help but smile in relief. Hanji looks at you while tears still shine brightly in their eyes and you can tell they are still scared of how you will react.
                          
Their bottom lip trembles as their breathing becomes irregular. To show them everything is ok, you take their face in your hands before planting several kisses all over their cheeks and lips. You don't stop until they show you a smile of their own.
                          
"Do you still love me?" They ask and you roll your eyes before laughing warningly.
                          
"Of course I do!" You reply, wrapping your arms around their legs and spinning Hanji around. Their laugh is contagious and you can't stop yourself from laughing with them. "What can I do to help you feel more comfortable?"
                          
"Maybe you can cut my hair for me?" They ask and you nod, excitement rushing through your veins as you place them back down on the ground. "I would like it to be a lot shorter than it is right now."
                          
"Fuck yes, I will cut your hair!" You say, clapping your hands together. "What else?"
                          
"My breasts have been bothering me for a while now, could you maybe help me choose a binder?" They ask, a blush covering their face as they gesture around their torso. You nod, taking their hands and lacing your fingers together.
                          
"I would be honored to help you choose a binder." You reply with a smile, "If you would like, we can start saving for top surgery."
                          
"I actually already started saving a little bit." They say, their face now completely red in embarrassment, almost like a little kid who has done something bad. "I hate the way that I look right now."
                          
"You are beautiful, love." You respond, ghosting your fingers above their cheek. "I want you to feel like you are beautiful, no matter what. I will help you!"
                          
"Really?" They ask, a shine in their eyes.
                          
Instead of responding with words, you realize that actions would speak louder so you take their face into your hands once again, pulling it close to yours until your lips are sealed together in a passionate kiss.
                          
Through your action, you are able to pass along that there is not a single inch of you that bears any ill will towards them, in fact you know how much courage it took for them to share with you how they feel.
                          
You want to show your support, how you will do anything and everything in your power to make sure they are comfortable in their own skin. 
                          
"I love you." You say, placing your forehead against theirs and with a bright smile they reply.
                          
"I love you too."