James the beautiful boy toy

                                    

                                          
It's 5:30 in the morning, and I can't sleep, Ross, he's just always on my mind. I know he's straight, and has a wife for crying out loud but I just can't resist. I just want to get lost in his beautiful blue eyes for all eternity. I shake my head, 'snap out of it Dan', I force myself out of my bed's soft embrace and make my way towards the wardrobe, pulling out my best pair of jeans, well the least worn ones anyway and a freshly clean Steam Train shirt and go to head for the kitchen, until I hear something stir in my bed. Shit. I totally forgot, I'd been drinking last night, not really that much but enough to make me a little stupid and it seems I have this young and quite handsome boy toy in my bed.
                          
"Danny" I hear a groggy voice mutter from my bed.
                          
"Why are you leaving so soon, beautiful" The small guy I shared the bed with last night rolls over, his blue eyes lock onto mine, alluringly. God dammit, he's so gorgeous! And very young probably only in his early twenties!
                          
"Oh, I'm Sorry umm..Jack?"
                          
"James" he finishes grinning as he sits up, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
                          
"Uh yeah James, I've promised a friend I'd meet him today so I gotta ...get ready" I stutter, distracted by his beauty, which causes me to forget the time I read moments ago.
                          
"At 5:30?" James says smugly
                          
"Come back to bed Danny, you can't possibly be meeting him now" James pats my side of the bed and I instinctively sit down. Placing myself a fair distance away from him, with my back towards him facing the wall as I lean forward propping my elbows on my knees before resting my chin in my hands.
                          
"Did you have a good time last night" James swiftly moves over to me, wrapping his arms around my neck, and lying his head in the hollow of my collar bone. Snuggling closely to my ear, biting it softly. Causing the spread of goose bumps all over my body. I let out a sigh of approval. Which encouraged him to continue. He moves his hands over my chest, then slides them gracefully under my shirt, gliding over the nipple several times causing an uprise in my pants.
                          
"Dan?" James whispers
                          
"Hmm" I groan.
                          
"You didn't answer my question" Ignoring him, I spin round, catching him by surprise and slam him down onto the bed. Our eyes meet and all I want to do is take this adorable boy to frisco town. James grins, inviting me, I lean forward pressing my lips firmly against his, savouring his smell briefly before my tongue explores the inside of his mouth. My hands caress his lean figure under me, discovering every part of him. James's arms wrap firmly around my neck, pulling my face even closer than it already is. My hands gently stroke James's nipple making him groan in response, begging me for more. As our tongues plunge together in ecstasy, James slowly moves his arms in between us, slipping under the tight fabric of my jeans finding the solid shaft yearning.
                          
"Mmm, Ross" I whisper, in a low voice, barely auditable. Ross.. shit, he's all I'm thinking about right now. I jerk backward, breaking our intense kiss and search James's startled face. I can't do this, I need to see Ross.
                          
"What's wrong?" James says quickly, taking his hand from my pants and placing the other through my hair.
                          
"I can't I'm sorry" I pry myself off him, and stand, running my fingers through my tangled hair.
                          

                          
"I just, would like you to go please" I painfully say, looking away from him. 
 James sits silent for a while, before getting up slowly and collecting his things. He leaves a number on my bed time table, requests I call him and then leaves. 
 I slam my fist down on the bed side table, fuck, what am I suppose to do, tell Ross and risk ruining our friendship and Steam Train? Or stay quiet and suffer like I have been for so long. I stride into the kitchen, seeking something to fill the uncomfortable nervous stirring of my belly. When I reach the kitchen I discover that last nights, fun , had created quite a mess in my kitchen. Thank God, Barry moved out a month ago to live with his girlfriend, at least now I didn't have to explain the mess of the kitchen or the beautiful boy toy that just exited my bedroom. I pick up a wine bottle that had been spilt on the floor and place it on the table. Since Barry had left I hadn't been coping so well, I've had guys over almost every second night because I've been so lonely. At least when I had Barry I had someone to keep me distracted and level but now, I've got no one. I open the pantry and take out some lucky charms and fill a large bowl to the brim. After pouring the milk in I chow down and go back to my thoughts. I wonder what Arin would think or Barry or Kevin if I told them, would Game Grumps be the same if they knew I was gay? Probably not. Someone needs to know though, I can't hide this forever I need to be honest with myself and with my friends. 
 I look up at the clock, 6:30, I have 5 hours before I see Ross and discuss ideas for our next Steam Train series. He said that Holly wasn't coming and that we'd be alone, so this is my chance to tell him.