Chapter 40 :: Difficult Love

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Slowly standing up on his feets, Taehyung eyed Y/n with his confused gaze

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Slowly standing up on his feets, Taehyung eyed Y/n with his confused gaze. Y/n turned back hastily to go but he, sensing the depth of the situation, immediately held her wrist and pulled her back to him. "Hey...Y-Y/n…" He stammered and he didn't know why.

He cupped her face, trying to make her look at him. "What do you mean by s-sorry?" He asked. "Y/n?" He jerked her lightly, when she was avoiding his stares. "It means what it means Taehyung." She says, her eyes dropping to the floor.

"You don't love me?" He asked, with a lump forming on his throat. Y/n took one deep breath and finally raised her wet lashes up to look at him. His eyes held fear. Fear of something unsaid and though it broke her heart several times, still she said the biggest lie of her life.

"No." Her one small whisper broke the bubbling hope inside Taehyung. His hands loosened and fell away from her and he blinked his eyes. "I never said that I love you Taehyung." Y/n says in a blank voice with a more blank look. "I don't know why you did all this…" She looked around the arrangements done on the terrace.

"....but I do not feel anything like that for you." She shook her head while fisting her hands tightly behind her back. There was an eerie silence prevailing in the terrace after she was done speaking. Taehyung kept looking at her with disbelief and confusion while his eyes teared up hearing her.

Just when Y/n was about to move away, he took a few steps towards her and wrapped her into a back hug. "Why?" He whispered into her ear, holding her tightly. "Why are you lying Y/n?" She closed her eyes, containing her tears with difficulty. "I am not. Now leave me." She removed his arms from around her.

"I love you Y/n!" Taehyung declared just when she was about to leave the terrace. Her steps halted and her heart skipped a beat. Taehyung rushed towards her and made her turn to face him. "I don't care if you love me or not but I love you." He breathed out, holding her waist.

"Taehyung….calm down." She sighed and tried to loosen his grip which didn't settle well with his system. "Why are you pushing me away Y/n?" His voice came out desperate as he held onto her tighter and closer. "Because you are making me uncomfortable Taehyung. Can you please let go of me!" Y/n frustratedly looked at him.

His big teary eyes were already making her weak and now his cracked voice was breaking her apart but she couldn't even voice her feelings to anyone. She loves him. But she knows that they are poles apart to be together. She is here to protect him and once it's done, she will have to leave. She can't stay.

"My touches make you uncomfortable? Since when?" Y/n could sense the pain in his voice but there was nothing good she could do at that moment instead of running away from there. "Since the time you started mistaking my caring nature for love. I care for you because you are my husband but I don't love you. Also, don't you remember we will get divorced after a year of our marriage and only a few months are left until then?"

Something inside Taehyung broke with that blunt declaration of hers that he went mum for a moment. He took a step back, his eyes glistening with a fresh set of tears while his face scrunching in pain. He looked blankly at Y/n as if she was an unknown person whom he met for the first time.

"Ar-Are you p-pranking me Y-Y/n?" His hands trembled after they turned cold in fear. An unknown shivering fear. Fear of her departure. Fear of her leaving him. Fear of losing that one person whom he has started loving with all his heart.

Will she leave me? How could she think like that? N-No….No! No! That's not happening!! Never!!!

"Taehyung...listen to me carefully-" "Are you seriously thinking about divorcing me?" He took a step towards her. "Not now-" "WHICH MEANS YOU ARE!!!" He yelled out of nowhere making her flinch back slightly. "Y/n!! Why are you thinking that now?? Don't you realise that everything I did back then was because I was hating you but now things are different!" He held her arms, crying in front of her.

"I l-love you Y/n…" His shivering hands cupped her face desperately as his eyes rained with tears of turmoils. "I really love you, trust me. Please! Please don't think about leaving me." He shook his head and later wiped his cheeks frantically. "Look…" He held her shoulders again.

"You don't love me right? It's fine….it's fine…" He licked his lower lip in nervousness while her eyes turned red and hand fisted tight. "You don't have to love me Y/n. Seriously! You don't need to. Just stay with me." His hands moved in the same direction as his shake of head.

"I-..." She let out a small cough. "I am leaving." She looked away but he pulled her arm, crashing her body with his, making her gasp. "No you are not leaving." Taehyung mouthed seriously. "I am talking here Y/n!!" He snaked his arm around her waist, caging her again in his arms.

"Y/n-ah…" His voice softened as he attached his forehead with hers. "You really don't love me?" He looked at her from under his wet lashes while his voice came out meek, carrying complaints in it. "Hmm?" He pulled up her chin gently. She felt like someone was choking out air from her throat as it was difficult to form any words at that time for her.

"Taehyung…. please…" Her eyes hurt and so did her heart. "Stop saying all this and let go." She turned her back in his embrace and he got a room to hold her from behind. Encircling his one arm around her waist and the other around her chest, he kept his chin above her shoulder.

"I have felt that you love me Y/n. Was I wrong? Please tell me. Don't hurt me this way." His chin trembled while he mouthed his emotions innocently. Y/n raised her hand, holding his arm which was around her chest, holding her shoulder, her own eyes flooding with salty tears.

"I love you. Really." He nuzzled his nose closer to her ear, whispering his feelings to her. "Please love me back." He later placed a chaste kiss on her earlobe and that was the ultimatum for her. She couldn't take it anymore. She hastily removed his grip from around her.

"I don't love you." She shook her head, still not looking at him. "I don't." She mumbled, more to herself than to him, before running away from the terrace leaving behind a heartbroken Taehyung. His eyes never stopped shedding tears while his heart clenched inside his chest in pain and betrayal.

Oh my love, falling in love was so sweet.
Oh my love, loving you is so bitter.

Running down the staircase, she stumbled on her way, tripping and holding onto the railing to prevent herself from falling while stubborn tears never stopped from rolling down her amber eyes. With quick steps, she ran inside her room, then inside the washroom and locked the door behind her.

With her back pasted to the cold wall under the shower, her knees felt weak and congealed like jelly, thus she slid down. Her knees curled up against her chest while the cold water ran down her scalp, dampening her clothes in the process. She cried. Hard. Her body trembled with warm tears falling down her eyes but cold water from the shower mixed with it.

Falling in love was easy.
Fulfilling love was difficult.

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"I am sorry I am late" - 👈🏻 this is my favourite dialogue 🙂🙏

I love you all 🥺👉🏻👈🏻💜😌

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