Prologue. Wake Up

                                    

                                          
Noises rush to my ear; incoherent chatter getting closer and clearer. Then I feel the urge to lift my eyelids to welcome the invading light, grimacing from its intensity. The world comes to vision in a blurred form. Above me, two men are standing, one, bent over to shine a flashlight into my eyes and checking my pulse, the other, observing with a pensive expression. 
                          
"Seems normal!"
                          
He voices out to the other one in an alien voice coming from another planet. He lets go of my poor eyelids, let them slide on each other. He murmurs to me
                          
"Do you know where you are?" I nod since my tongue is too placid in my mouth. 
                          
He goes on "Good. Then you must stay awake longer this time since we reduced the sedative in your blood. Do you feel any abnormalities in your body? Pain? Discomfort?" 
                          
Now that he mentioned it, there is a pulsing pain running through my body but I can't point to the exact location of it so I just nod again. 
                          
"Ok. Can you show me where? Is it here? " He gently pokes around my arm and I nod again. Then he goes further down to my ribs 
                          
"How about here?" I nod. He touches other places, inspecting my reactions. Finally, he stops groping me.
                          
"Ok. I see. You had a bone marrow transplant. It was a complicated case since you lost consciousness and were in a vital situation. We lost you for a few seconds as your heart stopped for 48 seconds, it was a miracle that we could have you back. That might cause some dysfunctions in your body so you have to expect them. It may take some effort and time to recover from it. But we'll talk about it later. You woke up a few times already, do you remember?" 
                          
I shake my head, gritting my teeth to push down the growing pain. The doctor senses my discomfort" You have to rest now. "
                          
Then the darkness alongside comforting silences comes to take me in.
                          
*
                          
"Can you hear me?" The kind voice coming from the young doctor asks me. 
                          
I nod. He inches closer 
                          
"Hi. We met before. When you woke up a few times earlier. Do you recall any of it?" 
                          
He is the same gentle doctor from before so I nod again. He smiles
                          
"Good. I'm your doctor. Farid. You can call me by my name since my family is hard to pronounce. I have to ask a few questions to make sure your cognitive and motor skills are intact. Are you up to that? Can you talk?" 
                          
Now that the pipe in my mouth is gone yes. I nod. "Yes." my voice barely audible even to my ear and far too unfamiliar. But he hears it and gives me a warm reassuring smile 
                          
"Good. Can you tell me what's your name?" 
                          
My name? That must be the easiest question on the planet but somehow it's a very challenging one for me. I know for sure I'm not Dara. Yet, here I am, capturing his body while he is gone for good. The doctor doesn't know that and if I tell him the truth that my name is Choi Nam Il he would think I damaged my memory and brain. Dara left everything to me; his name, family, his body, his endless ability to love, and his life. I owe him that much. 
                          
"Dara Raad. " I hoarse. 
                          
"How old are you?" This one I know very well. 
                          
"28"
                          
I feel a bit strange in this body. Not only because it's severely sick, but for it's the first time I'm taking full charge of this body for a very long time. There have been times when I took over his body and he willingly let me, so I'm familiar with his form and his face. But being here knowing that Dara never comes back to take back what's his is heart- wrenching. When I was in that dark tunnel between death and life, hung from the last resource of life which was Dara, it was pitch black and nothingness was lurking in. Dara's s voice was the only thing that saved me from letting go. He showed up in that tunnel, bringing light, and pushed me toward the light at the end of it. I resisted. I had lived my life and chose to give it away. I just happen to be there when Dara wished for me, but I didn't plan to take over his existence completely. However, in the end, he pushed me forward toward life. He was tired of fighting. He told me to live a life he couldn't fulfill. I was shoved back to the life I tried to escape once and Dara left me all his memories and the love he had for people around him. Dara left this body with a smile, relieved and content. That's why I couldn't let go of the precious life he offered me and fought with all my might. In those 48 seconds, Dara died and I was pushed back to life. Now, these are my family. I love them the way he loved them. I know all the things he knew and I received his legacy from the life he left to me. That's why I'm bearing the tedious and agonizing treatments and constant nausea. I should do this for him and his family. For my family. I have to get back on my feet once again as Dara this time. Then Dr. Farid asks me to move my fingers one by one.
                          
"Now lift your arm. And the other. Thank you. Can you do the same with your toes? " 
                          
I try to obey but my feet are heavy and barely move. I panic
                          
"I can't move my feet. Does that mean I'm paralyzed?" 
                          
Dr. Farid pokes my feet gently "I don't think so. We checked your C.T Scans. I may remind you we lost you for nearly a minute. That can harm the nervous system. I have seen some cases losing the ability to move even a finger. You are a lucky one. This can be fixed with continuous physiotherapy sessions. Plus, now that the transplant is done don't you think you are free of cancer. You have to proceed with the treatment, come for weekly checkups. After we make sure you're completely cancer-free, and the chances for metastasis, are down to zero we can reduce your medications to pills and you can go back to a normal life. But bear in mind when I say normal I mean you can go back to your daily routine. But no excessive activities, drinking, smoking, or tiring yourself. You have to follow some instructions not to get cold or injured. Your immune system won't be perfect. When you came here the first day everyone thought you wouldn't make it. But you proved them wrong. You're a fighter." I don't think so but I take that.