I Can't Breath

                                    

                                          
The next morning I woke up in Kelly's arms and the sun was shining through the window. I smile seeing Kelly sleep, I was trying to figure out how I got so lucky to call him mine. Every girl in school wanted him but he was all mine. I slide out of Kelly's arms to head for the bathroom to shower. 
                          
After my shower I wrap a towel around my body and go back into the bedroom. Kelly was awake and on his phone. Something felt off. "Babe you okay?" 
                          
"Yeah I'm fine." He placed his phone back on the nightstand and smiled at me. "We should probably head home." Kelly gets up and starts to head for the bathroom.
                          
As he passes by I stop and place a kiss to his cheek. "Okay love." I watch Kelly go into the bathroom to take a shower. 
                          
I go to grab the jeans, black tank top, bra, and underwear I had brought to change into. I slip the clothes on and sit on the bed to brush my long brown hair. Kelly comes out of the bathroom just as I am finishing my hair. 
                          
"Is there anything you want to do today?" I was smiling.
                          
I watched as Kelly pulled out his own clothes not even responding to my question. Something was definitely wrong causing my smile to fade away. 
                          
"Kelly what is wrong?"
                          
"Nothing Taylor." Kelly quickly slipped on his clothes. "Let's go." I watch Kelly exit the bedroom in a hurry. I quickly grab my clothes, my dead phone, and follow Kelly out to his car. 
                          
We both hop in and Kelly takes off back to the city. He is not driving like he usually does, speeding, taking corners fast, and not saying anything to me. 
                          
Was this the end of us? What if since we graduated he wanted to be single or what if there was someone else? I felt my emotions building up inside me and the tears starting to form. 
                          
I slam my fist on the dashboard in anger. "Damnit Kelly! What's wrong?!"
                          
I saw Kelly jump at my sudden outburst and then sneak a look over at me. "It's Nick." 
                          
I felt my heart drop to my stomach. "What about Nick?" I was bracing myself for whatever Kelly was about to say.

                          
I watch Kelly as he tries to contain his own emotions. "he... he uh..."
                          
"Spit it our Kelly!!" Tears we're falling from my eyes and I was beginning to shake. 
                          
"He's gone Taylor. A beam fell and hit him in the head. The damage to his head was to much. He died in the ambulance on the way to med." I saw Kelly notice I was  crying uncontrollable. Nick and him had become close due to Kelly wanting to be a firefighter. 
                          
I began to scream out as if I was in physical pain. I hadn't noticed that Kelly had pulled over on the side of the road. I felt him grab me and pull me to his chest.
                          
I don't know how long we sat on the side of the road both of us crying, but this was something that we both needed. Once we both were able to control our emotions, I went back to the passenger seat and Kelly started to drive again. 
                          
We reach my house and I see the fire commissioner's car, Kelly's parents cars and squad 4 was also here. I took a deep breath as Kelly parked his car in my driveway. 
                          
We both climb out and head inside. The sadness could immediately be felt as walked into the living room. There were my parents, the chaplain, squad 4 guys, and Kelly's parents. 
                          
Everyone looked at us as we walked in. I could see my moms eyes were all red and puffy and so were my dads. 
                          
"So it's true?" My voice cracked. 
                          
Captain Boden stepped closer to me. "I'm so sorry Taylor. It is true. Nick is gone." 
                          
I felt another round of rage building up inside me and I was about to burst. "You were his captain! You were suppose to protect him!"
                          
I feel Kelly grab my arm "Taylor." he had this warning tone in his voice.
                          
I quickly yanked my arm back. "No Kelly! He was suppose to protect him!!" 
                          
I lose control and start beating on Captain Boden's chest. He wraps his arms around and pulls me close. "I'm so sorry taylor." Boden holds onto me tight until I calm down. "We are still your family. We all loved Nick and he will never be forgotten as long as I am living." Boden squeezes me one last time before he releases me from our hug. 
                          
"I need to lay down." I watch as my mom nods her head and then I head upstairs. I can feel Kelly following close behind me. I stop at my door and turn around to face Nick's bedroom door. 
                          
I started to think about how he would never been in there again. How I wouldn't hear him leave for the firehouse. How my big protective older brother would never be here again. 
                          
I feel my knees give out but just before I hit the ground, Kelly was there so he caught me. I felt him pick me up and then carried me into my room. He laid me on my bed and then closed the door. 
                          
He laid down and pulled me close to him "It's going to be okay hun. We will get through this together." Kelly placed a kiss to my forehead. 
                          
I cry myself to sleep in Kelly's arms, praying that when I wake up this was all just a terrible nightmare.