22 | Bittersweet

                                    

                                          
"We haven't spoke since you went away
Comfortable silence is so overrated
Why won't you ever be the first one to break?
Even my phone misses your call, by the way"
***


I hated how easily I gave into him.
I hated the feeling all throughout my body that was so relieved to be close to him again.
He walked me out of the cafe, his hand on my lower back just barely but it was enough to give me goosebumps. It was almost protective; he didn't let there be too much of a big space between us.
The whole car ride was awkwardly silent. I sat with my knees facing away from him, resting my head in my hand against the window, staring out as it began to rain slightly.
Neither of us said a word after I said 'fine'. He didn't even put the radio on in his car. So we sat, in complete silence as he drove me home, just like he wanted to. The only sound breaking the unbearable awkwardness was the vibrating of the car, and the million beeping cars surrounding us.
It was late at night, the cafe was closed when he came in, I didn't even know how he got inside. I was supposed to be staying late tonight to clean up, but I just left.
I was tempted to tell him about seeing James' father, but I knew he wouldn't care, so I kept my mouth shut.
I watched as Harry turned one last corner before approaching the front of my building, pulling up in front of the door before parking.
I glanced at him through the reflection of the window, he had his elbow resting against his own window, his lips pinched between his fingers as his wrist rested on top of the wheel.
"Well, I'm home now" I broke the silence. 
He didn't say anything, or even look at me, he just sighed heavily, his eyebrows furrowed like usual.
I opened the car door and stepped out, turning back to face him again. "I guess I'll see you in two months, maybe eight months, who knows?"
He glanced up at me, I didn't look at his face because I didn't care if my words were harsh or not. I shut the car door behind me, probably more aggressively than I should have.
I took a few steps away from the car, making my way towards the entrance of the building, trying to ignore how much it hurt the further away I got from him.
I didn't understand him at all, why insist on taking me home, just to sit in complete silence?
I heard the car door shut behind me, followed by a few slow but long footsteps coming towards me until I could see Harry's shadow beside mine.
"What are you doing?" I glared up at him, feeling him place his hand on the small of my back.
He opened the door of the building, walking me inside and towards the direction of the elevator, I kept my eyes on my feet the whole time, not wanting to look at him anymore.
"I told you I wanted to talk to you" He sighed as we got in the elevator and he pushed the button for my floor.
"You had a whole car journey to do that" I crossed my arms across my chest, half of me wanted to pull away from his hand on my back, the other half of me was savouring the small touch.
He moved his hand from the bottom of my back to hold my waist instead, and I tried my hardest to ignore the way my stomach started doing backflips.
There was silence for a few moments before he sighed, "I know"