❝ sometimes it's better to let someone go ❞
Do you know why one-sided love is called a crush?
Because that's exactly how it feels.
The worse part is... you cannot escape it. It doesn't go your way. And the only thing you do, no, the only thing you c...
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Dear diary...
Today I feel really down and I'm here to drain these negative feelings. I've started studying at the university for my further studies, and honestly, it's been hectic. Ever since I moved places after I graduated from my school, I've been busy tenfolds of what I used to be.
It's not been easy at all. I sometimes think, that maybe I shouldn't have moved from there. But it was difficult for me to stay there. Every time I crossed the intersection, his house would come into my sight. And sometimes, she would be there with him. It still hurts. But I'm glad he is happy.
I've tried an endless number of times, but I still can't get over him. This love, it wasn't so loved after all. Even still, no matter how much I've kept myself busy and tried to get over him, the first thing that comes to my mind when I look at myself, it's still him.He engraved himself really deep into my soul. I don't know how it happened, he didn't even know me. We never even talked.
The memories are still with me; his smile, his eyes, his voice. Everything is still engraved deeply in my mind. It hasn't faded even a little bit. Even after this long, I can't forget him. But no, I don't regret loving him even a little bit.
During this time, that I spent loving him, I learned one thing. Love isn't two people cherishing and spending time with each other. It's not two people being with each other. It's a heavenly feeling that resides within one.
It may or may not be reciprocated. But it doesn't end there. Love is something that traps you in itself. No matter how much you try, once you set your foot in here, there's no turning back. Things can never be like they used to be.
I've realized that but still, still I can't get out of this love maze he trapped me in. His love was something that I could never have. His heart belonged to someone else. I wonder if he forgot me already...
I suffer every day to move on, to somehow step out of this trap, but I just can't. After I moved away and didn't have to see him anymore, maybe I started to heal from the bruises he gave me. Maybe it would take time, but my love for him would fade. Maybe I'll be myself again someday. Perhaps there is someone for me too.
I hope that someday is near... but before that, I have an important day tomorrow. On my first day of college. Will I be able to do good there?
