26

                                    

                                          
Third Person POV:
Jungkook stared at the calm waves of the sea crashing onto the shore, wetting the sand. He was sitting at a good distance from the shore, knees brought close to his chest.
The white noise calmed his hectic nerves a bit but his mind was still a jumbled mess. He was confused, relieved, angered and disgusted all the same time. However the relief was dominating the other slightly weaker emotions of his. 
The raven head chuckled bitterly as he felt another tear stream down his face. He doesn't even know what the fuck he was crying for. The laugh blended almost beautifully with the whisper of the gentle breeze.
"How long are you going to be here?" A voice interrupted his little session and the man in question wiped his face with the back of his hand and cleared his throat as he felt the intruder sit beside him.
Seokjin groaned as he took a seat next to the raven head, took a short glance at the said male and stared at the distance. A comfortable silence in between them. 
"Why are you crying though?" Seokjin decided to break the comfortable silence and Jungkook just shook his head, his raven locks falling on his forehead, almost poking his eyes. 
"I dunno," His voice was hoarse, an evident sign of crying. The tone was blank though. The older sitting next to him wrapped his arms around the younger. He knew he needed it at the moment.
"Jungkook, talk to me," He further urged the younger who seemed to be in a dilemma. The hesitation was very obvious. Seokjin had known him for years, they spent the longest time together among all of the others. Thus he was well aware of how Jungkook tends to shut himself out when things get rough. 
"I...I'm...I dunno...I just. I'm guilty," After a lot of courage and stammering he was finally able to speak, biting his lips afterwards and hiding his head in his hands that were wrapped around his knees. 
"Of what?" The older of the two asked in a soft voice. He knew exactly what the other was guilty of but he wanted to hear it in person. 
"Of not helping him, I guess. Of not being a good friend" The raven head shrugged.
"But you did help him. You even took care of him when he was in the hospital. And I'm sure if you knew of his circumstances you would've been even more careful than you already were." He was trying hard to make him believe that it wasn't his fault.
"But that wasn't enough, Hyung. He fucking cut himself. He was hurting and I couldn't do a thing." The younger's head throbbed as he even thought about what his friend had gone through. He knew Taehyung was not the brightest star in the sky but it he had no idea it was this bad.
"It wasn't your fault, Jungkook. The situation was just fucked up. So stop beating yourself over nothing." Seokjin once again tried to make him feel better but Jungkook just won't listen, too engrossed in his own turmoil. Too lost in his misery. 
"Then what about his return? I was the biggest jerk to him. All of you...were nice but me. He must have been so disappointed. I used to boast around that I was the best friend he could ever get. But I couldn't do shit." The raven head rambled on, smiling bitterly at the memories where he would remind Taehyung of how great he was. It all feels like a joke to him now. He was a joke. All bark and no bite. 
"You were hurt too,Jungkook. You were hurt that he left you. He was the closest to you so it definitely had a greater effect on you."
"That doesn't justify my actions." At this point, he was trying his best to take all the blame so that the flames of guilt in his heart would be cooled off.