Chapter 70

                                    

                                          
Annalisa shushes me quietly as she rocks me gently on the floor. 
                          
"What's happened?" 
                          
Tony is walking quickly towards me and that only makes me cry harder. I hear Carmela speak to him in Italian explaining what happened.
                          
Joey moves in and lifts me in his arms, and he takes me to my room as I continue crying. He sets me down gently on my bed, and then he tells Annalisa that he'll be back later.
                          
A couple of hours later, I'm still sniffling, with shuddering breaths going through my body; I feel exhausted, and my head is throbbing. I take a big shaky breath as I sit up. 
                          
"I can't stay here anymore, Anna." My voice is thick and raspy from all the yelling, screaming, and crying.
                          
"Come stay at my house then, until you have to leave for Paris. You're already packed anyway."
                          
"No, I mean, even after Paris. I can't...I can't." The tears begin to fall again.
                          
After a few more minutes of self-wallowing, I resolve within myself to stop crying. I'm not going to be this person. I can't be; it's not just about me anymore.
                          
My mom-Serena always talked about being strong within myself even when it felt like the world was caving in around me, and right now, it did feel like it was. 
                          
I don't want to be here when JP gets back. 
                          
"Let's go eat somewhere; I've hardly eaten all day."
                          
Annalisa looks at me warily. "Are you sure you want to go out, though, Char?"
                          
"No. I'm not. But I know I don't want to be here. Can you call Enzo? He wanted to go out today anyway. I need to see him before I leave tomorrow."
                          
"Sure, I'll call him. Where do you want to go?"
                          
"I don't care, you pick," I tell her.
                          
I walk to my bathroom and wash my face, which is red and blotchy from all the crying. I pat my face dry, and then I pack my toothbrush and get my prenatal's out of the cabinet.
                          
"Enzo said he'd meet up with us," Annalisa tells me as I stuff my toiletries bag into another bag.
                          
"Meet up where?" Joey walks in.
                          
"Charmaine wants to go out to eat, and she doesn't want to stay here. Do you want to come with us? I know her Uncle wants someone with her at all times. Or maybe Tobias or Santino can if they're working."
                          
"No. I'll go." He says. "Are you staying with Annalisa until you leave, then?" I nod my head. "And you leave tomorrow?"
                          
I nod my head again. "My flight doesn't leave until the evening, though."
                          
"I'll see if Timo will let me stay at Anna's until you leave, then," Joey tells me. He picks up my luggage and heads out the door.
                          
"Let me tell him." I walk out of my room behind him and head down to my Uncle's office. Annalisa follows Joey out to the car. A few men wandering in the hallways either avoid my gaze or nod at me as I walk past them.
                          
When I reach my Uncle's door, I wipe my eyes and take a deep breath as I knock and then hear his voice, letting me know I can enter.
                          
"Charmaine, cara mia." He smiles at me, then stands up immediately as his eyes study my face. "What's wrong?"
                          
Tony looks at me but then looks away; Tobias stands as well, concern on his face. 
                          
I take a deep breath. "Nothing." I breathe out and smile. "I was just watching one of those silly, chick flick movies, and you know how I cry every time I watch them." I laugh lightly; even though my voice sounds stuffy.