Chapter 18: Gulf

                                    

                                          
I must have to admit that I like Mew Suppasit. The way he plays with the ring reminds me that the one he actually loves is Art, Art Pakpoom Juanchainat, it's the name my manager told me a few days ago. He also told me that the ring is from Art Pakpoom. A ring which he puts on his thumb at all times, a ring which he plays with when he is nervous, a ring which reminds him of his love person. And that love person is me.
                          
He is Art Pakpoom. The one and only person Mew Suppasit has loved all along, so in love that he announced his love for Art Pakpoom during an interview, so in love that he confessed so many times even there's no response, so in love that he never took off his ring. The only reason he did that to me in the toilet before was just because he got horny all of a sudden, I should have guessed that he had a naked Art Pakpoom in his mind when he got horny at that time.
                          
That's why he did that to me. He just vented all his imaginations and love and desire of Art Pakpoom on me. An innocent person. Damn it, Mew Suppasit. I hate you. What have you done to me. You stole my body and you are even taking away my heart right now, but when my whole mind is full of you, what you are thinking day and night is Art Pakpoom. Have you ever thought of my feelings, Mew Suppasit? How could you treat me so badly? Do I even look like Art Pakpoom or act like him?
                          
But I can't keep my eyes off Mew Suppasit, still. I roll my eyes towards his direction to take a peep of what he is doing. He is texting underneath the long table. Who is it? I turn my head for a bit to have a closer look and find that the one he is texting is this:💗
                          
What's the meaning of this? I roll my eyes down and try to see what are they talking about, though I know this is bad. 
                          
Mew: Art, what are you doing? 09:47
                          
Mew: Art, I am going to have lunch before the workshop. You remember? The one I told you last week that all the main cast are joining. 10:55
                          
Mew: Art, I miss you❣ 10:55
                          
Mew: Art, why are you not replying to me? 10:57
                          
Mew: Art baby, Art baby...what are you doing??? Please reply me, na na na... 11:03
                          
Mew: Art, I am having lunch now. Spaghetti, you wanna join me? 12: 14
                          
💗: I have eaten already. 12:30
                          
Mew: Oh my gosh, baby, you are finally replying me, I miss you so much💘 12:30
                          
Mew: Art? Art? Where are you? What are you doing? 12:30
                          
Mew: Art? Why are you not replying me again? Baby...where are you na? 12:30
                          
💗: Busy. 12:36
                          
Mew: Okok, su su na. Love you. 12:36
                          
Mew: Have you finished your work now? I have just arrived at the workshop. 13:33
                          
Mew: Art, you want to have dinner together tonight? 13:39
                          
Mew: We haven't eaten together for almost a month. Please???????? 13:39
                          
Ok, so Mew Suppasit is asking his lover for dinner tonight, which his lover still hasn't replied yet. And yes, I'm correct, his baby is Art Pakpoom.
                          
The one is really loves. Can't he see that Art Pakpoom doesn't love him at all? Can't he see that Art Pakpoom isn't even willing to spend time with him? Is he really that stupid or he is just pretending not to know and forcing himself to believe that Art Pakpoom loves him? 
                          
Fuck. I suddenly want to grab his phone and throw it into the toilet bowl. Fuck, Mew Suppasit, fuck. Why in the world would I fall in love with you? Why in the world would I choose a man who stupidly loves another man who doesn't love him at all over my beautiful girlfriend? Why in the world would you come straight into my heart without any notice?
                          
Mew Suppasit must have seen me looking at his phone because he then turns his phone inward, just the right angle so that I cannot see what he and Art Pakpoom is talking about. Ha. Now he doesn't even want people to know who he loves. He is trying to hide his love for Art Pakpoom in front of me when almost the whole world knows. 
                          
I slump down into my chair. I am fully disappointed with Mew Suppasit. I want to give up already. I want to stop loving this man. This man who would never ever love me back.