Cover and Delete

                                    

                                          
Jason's eyes were open as he stared at the ceiling. Even though Ryan was seated next to him, it was too hard to look over right now. He picked a place to fix his eyes as the tattoo artist gently shaved away the baby fine hairs on his hip. It was different from the last time. The only time. The time Mark had dragged him into a shop in L.A. and stood over him while the Japanese characters he'd been forced to write out were scarred into his hip. Jason was positive the man who put them on his body had no idea what they spelled, or he wouldn't have done it. Slave. Not anymore.
                          
He kept his eyes on the spot, thinking of the tears that had leaked from the corners of his eyes, and how Mark hadn't even blinked. He felt the soft swipe of something cold over his skin - alcohol? - and breathed in through his nose. This is nothing like that. This is what I want, what I chose. And he said once he was finished, I wouldn't be able to tell that word had ever been there. Nobody would. Jason forced himself not to speak to Mark in his head, to tell his late husband what he was doing. Talking to Mark was something that needed to be in the past, permanently. 
                          
What wasn't in the past was Ryan. Ryan, who was going to be his husband so soon. Jason felt the press of the transfer to his skin, the way the tattoo artist held it over the spot on his hip for a moment. He refused to look down until it was finished. The image of the Japanese characters wasn't something he needed to look at to see anyway. It was burned into his memory forever, and that was one thing Jason knew was wrong about this whole endeavor. Even if his eyes couldn't make out the symbols once this was done, his memory would know exactly where slave was written. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to unsee it.
                          
"Okay, I'm going to test this out," the artist who went by the nickname Scorpion said. 
                          
Jason closed his eyes and blindly reached for Ryan's hand to hold. "I'm ready," he answered, trying to keep the tremble out of his voice as the needle buzzed to life. 
                          
Ryan watched the ink go into Jason's tender skin, and how every few minutes the tattooer would wipe excess ink and blood away from the area so he could keep working. The stencil of the two sparrows with their beaks connecting was already coming to life, even if it was only an outline right now. 
                          
He heard Jason groan - a light whimper from behind his closed lips - and Ryan turned his attention to his boyfriend's face. Jason's eyes were open as he stared straight up. Ryan's other hand went to Jason's forehead, and then up over his dark hair, in comfort. "It's going to look awesome. Hang in there, Jason Akio. You're going to be the proud owner of two cool looking sparrows really soon. We should name them," he decided with a smile, even though Jason wasn't looking at him. "How about Jack and Jill? Or Steven and Stephen? You know, one with a PH and one spelled S-T-E-V-E-N? Then we'd only have to remember one name instead of two." 
                          
The silliness was finally enough to turn Jason's head, and his eyes met Ryan's. "You're so crazy," he said through gritted teeth. "And while PH and V make for a quality idea, you'll never convince me these birds are anything other than Ry and Jay, not in a million lifetimes." Jason gripped Ryan's hand a little harder, and tried to smile as they shared a knowing look. 
                          
"I want to be the one on the left," Ryan whispered before leaning forehead to plop a quick kiss to Jason's face. "Hey, buddy," he said, turning his attention to the tattoo artist. "Think you can give that left sparrow blue eyes?" 
                          
Scorpion cocked an eyebrow but didn't take his eyes off his work. "That's up to the guy under the needle," he answered gruffly, continuing the meticulous outline around the coupled birds. He had no way of knowing that his response was perfect.
                          
Jason didn't stop looking up into Ryan's face. He could see the outline of his fiance's scruff covered jaw, his cheekbones, the tip of his nose. When Ryan glanced back down, and their eyes met again, it was electric. "Blue eyes," he told Scorpion, and his voice was stronger now than it had been before. "The bird on the left has blue eyes."