27 - choice or force

                                    

                                          
*Tavie's pov*
                          
I stirred in my bed, stretching my arms and legs out before opening my eyes. I had had the worst night's sleep I'd ever had in a few months, and I started to feel the affects of it as soon as I opened my eyes.
                          
My eyes quickly found Luke, who was sitting on his bed and watching me with a small smile playing on his lips. I immediately sat up and ran a hand through my red hair, worrying about my terrible morning appearance.
                          
"Hi Luke." I muttered, my voice cracking. Blushing, I looked down at my hands and began to fiddle with the hem of my sweatshirt.
                          
"Ash and Cara have gone to breakfast, I stayed behind so I could talk to you about yesterday." Luke explained, never taking his steady gaze off me.
                          
I sighed and stood up, beginning to pick the clothes out of my suitcase that I was going to wear that day.
                          
"Tavie, look at me." Luke said, his voice deep and demanding.
                          
I tensed at the authority in his voice, and slowly and stiffly turned to face him, the clothes I had picked out hanging limply in my arms.
                          
"What happened yesterday?" He asked me, his voice weaker than usual. God, I'd upset him. It hurt me so much to be the one to cause those cracks in his voice.
                          
"Well, you kissed me and I freaked out." I muttered simply with a shrug.
                          
"I kissed you?!" Luke exclaimed, pointing to himself then me. I winced, staring at the floor childishly. "Tavie, I would never have kissed you without being sure you were okay with it. I know there's Ashton, and Calum as well. I want you to choose me, not me force myself on you."
                          
I nodded. "I understand that. I guess it was a heat of the moment thing."
                          
"I know you feel something for me. No, something happened after the kiss to make you... regret... it. What came to your mind? It was a perfect moment for me." Luke sighed, his fingers fiddling with the bedsheets on his bunk and his eyes following the movements.
                          
I looked up and watched him, and found the courage to explain myself to him. "Luke, you broke up with Cara about fifteen minutes before I kissed you. I don't want to be your rebound."
                          
To my surprise, the breadstick started laughing. "You'd never be my rebound. You're too cool to be a rebound."
                          
I rolled my eyes.
                          
"Seriously, you're not a rebound." He assured me, the smile still playing on his lips.
                          
"I don't know, Luke." I murmured.
                          
He sighed and climbed off his bed to come over to me, taking my hands in his and staring me in the eyes. "You have serious trust issues. Look, I promise you're not a rebound. You're much more than that. You're one of my best friends and I don't want to mess that up with a relationship I'm not completely committed to."
                          
I nodded, looking away from his overwhelming gaze. A smile started to appear on my lips. "Okay, Luke. Let's go to breakfast."
                          
"I'll wait while you get changed." He smiled.
                          
"No, don't worry about it. I'll meet you there."
                          
He chuckled and left the room with a wave over his shoulder.
                          
* * *
                          
I slowly made my way to the dining room of the hotel, taking my time with every step. I was avoiding multiple people; Luke, Ashton and Calum.
                          
I mean, I was mainly avoiding Cal, but Ashton was worrying me as well. This relationship he has with Ellie made my heart hurt, and that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I couldn't be jealous of someone close to Ashton. I mean, it was Ashton. This guy was a douche, I shouldn't care if he is close with someone, that's none of my business.
                          
I hate Ashton. All he's ever done is mess with my mind and my life, and I want him out of my way.
                          
God, this was all so confusing.
                          
I eventually reached the door to the dining room and placed my hand on the door handle. I took in a deep breath before pushing the door open, ready to face whatever mind games were lying in wait for me on the other side.
                          
I was hoping that Cassy would be sitting on a separate table to the boys, but of course she would be sitting with Michael. I mean, those two had each other wrapped around their fingers.
                          
I pigeon-stepped over to the table until Michael spotted me, and then I had to walk normally. I couldn't delay it any longer.
                          
"Tavie! Hey." Michael motioned, and when the rest of them turned towards me he motioned to the seat beside him (Cassy was on his other side). I nodded at them all and sat in the chair he motioned to. Unfortunately, Luke was sitting opposite me.
                          
But was it unfortunate? I don't even know anymore. I guess the conversation I had had with him earlier that morning had reassured me, but I still wasn't completely sure. I was probably just being picky.
                          
I met Calum's gaze and smiled at him. He was sitting next to Luke, and he glanced quickly at Michael before returning his eyes to me and giving me a weak smile back.
                          
Ashton was opposite Cassy and Ellie had decided to join us and was sitting next to Cassy. Ellie and Ashton were chatting away happily, and he started laughing loudly at something she had said.
                          
I turned my gaze back to Luke and saw he was looking at me, slightly confused. To make sure he didn't get the wrong impression, I rolled my eyes in Ashton's direction and Luke laughed with a nod.
                          
"Well, I'm going to go grab some breakfast because I am hungry." I pointed to the buffet-type-thing covered with toast, eggs, sausages and etcetera and left the table.
                          
I grabbed a plate and put it on one of the grey trays. I went over to the toast and suddenly felt a hand on the small of my back. I straightened, fully aware of the large hand and long fingers spread across my lower back.
                          
"Hey Tavie." Ashton's voice said quietly in my ear.
                          
"Hey there, stranger." I replied quietly. He had been just like a stranger ever since he first saw Ellie yesterday.
                          
"So I just wanted to apologise for not giving you my full attention recently." He said. I stared down at my plate, trying to ignore the feeling of his breath travelling down my neck.
                          
"It's actually been great to not have the harassment 24/7." I replied, smiling slightly down at the tray. My nails picked at a chip on the edge of the tray. 
                          
He laughed softly. "Well, don't worry. I'll be focusing on you from now on. I just had a lot of catching up to do with Ellie is all."
                          
"I'm not worrying." I answered, trying to sound as sincere as I wanted to.
                          
After putting some kinds of food on a plate on my tray I went back to the table and sat down with a sigh. Ashton followed suit, sitting in his own chair.
                          
"So, Tavie, I was just talking with Luke, and we've come up with a really cool idea!" Cassy exclaimed to me, clapping excitedly.
                          
I narrowed my eyes slightly in response, starting to get suspicious. When I noticed Michael holding Calum's gaze - which was filled with hurt - I realised my suspicion was well called for.
                          
"We thought it would be totally awesome to go on a double first date when we next have some free time!" Luke grinned widely at me.
                          
All I could do was look at Ashton, who actually seemed interested in our conversation.