107. Get your head in the game

                                    

                                          
I woke up to the sound of birds chirping and I blinked a few times before fully opening my eyes. Rays of sun were peeking through the curtains, creating colourful patterns on the walls. I stretched my arms before sitting up on the bed, rubbing my eyes. I looked over to my left, seeing Lando still asleep next to me. I smiled softly, feeling warm inside. This was a sight I hadn't seen for ages, okay that wasn't particularly true, but even yesterday morning felt like too long ago. I reached over and ran my fingers through his hair. 
I leaned down and planted a soft kiss on his forehead. He stirred before humming something, his arm moving to my side, he rested his hand on my waist and continued sleeping. Smiling, I removed his hand from my waist, careful not to wake him. I slipped out of the bed, tiptoeing to the kitchen. The kitchen only existed out of a counter, a mini-fridge, a water boiler and a microwave, but as we stayed in an all-inclusive resort we had enough food to grab whenever we wanted to. I decided to make some tea as I was quite thirsty, I emptied some bottled water into the water boiler and waited patiently. Soon it was ready and I poured it into a glass, I added a teabag which I 'borrowed' at the breakfast yesterday, along with some honey. It was still too hot to drink. I put the glass on the counter and turned to the balcony.
I was greeted by the sight of the ocean. The waves were rolling gently on the shore. They were just as breathtaking as last night. I couldn't imagine what it was like to live here, I never pictured myself living in Mexico, or anywhere outside of Europe really, but I was happy to be here. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I could get used to waking up with an ocean view.
"Morning," Lando's morning voice startled me for a moment.
"Oh, hey." I turned around to face him, smiling brightly. "Oi oi."
"What is it?" He asked, approaching me.
"Just... nothing," I sighed. "Simply enjoying the view." I rested my head on his shoulder as I gazed at the ocean.
"It's beautiful," he commented, putting his arm around my waist. I felt relieved for a moment, at least I knew he liked this place too. I didn't fuck things up so far. I let out a deep sigh. "Okay Dais, I know you, what are you thinking?"
"Nothing much," I lied, my nose already started itching. "I need to get my tea, do you want some?" Lando shook his head, moving out of the way to let me go grab the cup that cooled down on the counter. I brought it with me to the balcony. The tea was almost cold by now, regardless of that I drank it anyway. 
Lando was leaning against the railing looking at the ocean, it made me wonder if he was thinking of the same thing. It made me wonder if he was scared too. I knew I was. I didn't want to screw these dates up, because if I did, everything would change. My friendship with him would change. I questioned if Lando kept the same thing in mind. Maybe he changed his mind, and I wondered if the stress was all worth it.
"I don't want to mess up these dates," I admitted, standing next to him but at a bigger distance than before. 
"We haven't messed them up yet, have we?" Lando asked, turning to look at me.
"No," I replied, shaking my head. He smiled, nodding a few times. "But maybe we will."
He didn't respond immediately. 
"Dais?" He called after a while. I hummed in response. "Do you really believe that? That we'll mess it up one day?" I turned my gaze towards the ocean.
"Yes," I answered it in full honesty, staring at the waves. "It wouldn't be the first time."
"Would you stop saying that?" He asked. "I'm not one of your exes."
"And I don't want you to become one, that's why I'm scared," I explained, avoiding eye contact. "I fucked up many times before, I don't want to repeat that mistake. You don't deserve that."