Chapter 13

                                    

                                          
A/N- just a little trigger warning for those it may upset, panic attacks and anxiety are mentioned a lot in the chapter. 
                          
Lizzie's POV 
                          
It's 12:30am and we've just finished filming for the night, I'm back here tomorrow mid morning so I decide it's probably easier if I just sleep in my trailer. The sofa pulls out into a bed and is quite big anyway and really comfy. 
                          
"Hey Scar, I'm just going to crash in my trailer have you got a way of getting home?" I ask remembering I drove her here this morning, I feel a little guilty but her smile instantly calms me. 
                          
"Great minds think alike Lizzie, I'm staying in mine too. In fact I think a few of us are, so I'll see you in the morning." With that she gives me a hug before walking in the other direction towards her own trailer. 
                          
"Night Scar" I say before heading to mine, I am extremely tired and tomorrow is going to be a very physical day, so I waste no time changing into some comfy clothes and setting up my make shift bed. 
                          
Even thought it pulls out, I really don't have the energy for that, instead I grab a pillow and a big blanket and lie across it. 
                          
Before I let myself fall asleep I grab my phone and text Alexa a goodnight, I know she leaves it on silent so I won't wake her. My eyes softly close until my phone pings and I see Alexa's name pop up on my screen. Why is she awake?
                          
Lizzie: Just finished for the night, I know you won't see this until morning but I just wanted to say good night sweet girl! ♥️
                          
Alexa: Good night Lizzie ♥️
                          
I don't like that she's still awake at this hour so I instantly call her, it rings for a while until I hear a soft voice:
                          
Alexa: Hi Lizzie
                          
Her voice is hushed and croaky, it almost sounds like she's been crying. 
                          
Lizzie: Hi sweetheart, why are you awake? Are you ok?
                          
Alexa: Erm I- I just couldn't sleep so I- 
                          
She completely stumbles over her words as if she's trying to make something up, but not doing a very good job whilst also trying to keep her breathing steady, she's definitely crying.  
                          
Lizzie: Alexa please don't lie to me, why are you crying? Are you ok?
                          
I instantly hear her let the sobs over take her and my heart shatters, I give her a few minutes to let it out while reassuring her she's okay and I'm here. 
                          
Lizzie: Just let it out sweetheart, it's okay. 
                          
Alexa: I'm sorry, you're probably really tired I'm ok please go to bed, I'll just leave you be. 
                          
My heart continues to break, I thought I'd made it clear to her that she is never a burden to me but hearing the way she is talking she is back to doubting everyone. 
                          
Lizzie: Alexa listen to me, I have all the time in the world for you. You don't have to tell me what's happened but I hate hearing you so upset, it's ok I'm here. 
                          
...
                          
Lizzie: Alexa... sweetheart are you there?
                          
Alexa: Lizzie... 
                          
I hear her breathing getting shallow and more like gasps, the signs are clear to me and knowing she hasn't been right all day I jump out of my bed, grab my car keys and run to my car. 
                          
Lizzie: Alexa I think you're having a panic attack can you listen to my voice I need you to do as I say. I'm on my way sweetheart but I need you to listen to me.