- Chapter Nine -

                                    

                                          

This day was my twelfth day here, but for the first time, I had such a good night. 
Knowing that I was going to leave this place other than with the pig who 'bought' me was giving me so much hope, I was finally seeing a light at the end of this dark tunnel. 
                          
As always, Chris brought me breakfast and fresh clothes, and as always he left as he had things to do. 
                          
He came back in the afternoon, around 3PM. I was standing up, my arms wide open when he entered the room. 
He smiled at me, his cute dimples showing out, which made me smile against my will. 
                          
He engulfed me into his warm embrace, holding my head against his chest. 
I closed my eyes, tightening my grip around him. 
                          
I mentally said to myself: 'don't forget why you're doing this in the first place. To get out of here. You do not give a damn about this Chris. You only care about your freedom.'
                          
After a few minutes, he pulled away to sit on the bed. 
I took place beside him as he grabbed my hands. 
He said softly:
-"so... Mhm.. Are you ready to hear my plan on your way out?"
                          
Finally, that was the only reason why I was being nice to him. 
                          
I nodded. 
-"yes, I'm ready."
-"so... Next week, in 6 days precisely, no one will be around for the whole day, they all have some important business to do out of town, so they'll be leaving early in the morning. So the plan is, I'll come over here by 9 in the morning with some real clothes and a wig. Once you'll be ready, I'll simply drive you to the airport and you'll be free. I have a friend who took care to make a new passport for you, of course you can't use your real name anymore... I'm sorry..." He paused for a few seconds. "Of course I'll give you the passport when we're on the way to the airport. I already bought a flight for you.. You're going to Australia, the flight leaves at 2:45PM. Once you'll arrive in Sydney, my best friend, Matt, will come get you, you'll stay at his place for as long as you need. I'll also give you some money.. Enough money for you to be able to live comfortably your whole life, because that's the least I can do. Also.. The thing you need to know is that you won't be able to contact your family ever again.. I'm sorry, but if you do so, you'll put them and yourself in danger... I almost forgot, I'll also give you a prepaid phone with Matt's number, and my own. Just in case."
                          
I nodded. That was perfect. But there was something I was wondering. 
-"ain't you leaving with me?"
                          
He shook his head, smiling at me. 
-"no babygirl, I'm staying here. I know that was your plan, making me fall for you so I'd let you go. And that worked, I let you play me. But it's ok, that's what I wanted, and I want to thank you. Because even though you played me, you gave me the illusion that I was loved, for the first time in my life. Even though it was a game for you, I hope you had fun, and I enjoyed being your toy."
                          
I was in absolute shock. I didn't even know why, but tears started falling down my cheeks. He smiled at me tenderly, his thumbs brushing away my tears.
I didn't know why, but my heart was aching. What was wrong with me? I was lucky that he let me play him, I should be relieved, but instead of that, I just felt like shit. 
                          
He leaned in to give me a loving, yet passionate kiss, swallowing the sound of my sobbing. 
                          
I pulled away from the kiss, to say:
-"I-I'm so s-sorry... I d-didn't m-mean to-"
                          
He shut me up with a kiss, whispering against my lips:
-"it's ok, I told you I wanted it. There's no need to be sorry."
                          
I felt so guilty. But why? Why did I care? He even agreed to play my game, so why did I feel like that? 
                          
He pulled me on his laps, holding me against him. I hid my face in the crook of his neck, snuggling myself against his warm body. 
I didn't want to break the silence, I was too ashamed to say anything. 
We cuddled like that for about an hour, then it was time for him to leave. 
                          
He kissed my forehead as he pulled me off his laps. 
-"I'll be back for dinner."
                          
He smiled at me, I knew he was about to get up, so I threw my arms around his neck, kissing him passionately. 
I felt him smile through the kiss, which made my heart ache even more. 
                          
He pulled away and stood up. 
I watched his thin figure becoming blurry as tears were filling my eyes. 
He stepped toward the door as I said with a broken voice:
-"I'll miss you Chris..."
-"thank you babygirl... I'll miss you too. See you tonight."
                          
And with these words, he left. 
                          
What was wrong with me? Why was I crying? I was getting back my freedom, even though I had to start all over again and forget about my 'past' life, I was going out of here. So why did it felt painful to imagine myself leaving and living without Chris? He was nothing to me. I didn't even love him. 
                          
________
                          
Dinner time. 
                          
As usual, Chris took a sit on the bed and we started to eat, but tonight, I wasn't very hungry. 
                          
He asked with a concerned tone:
-"are you alright?"
                          
Was I alright? I didn't know anymore. 
                          
As I didn't reply, he placed a hand on my shoulder. 
-"babygirl? Are you alright?"
                          
A question was tormenting me, I had to know. 
-"I... What will happen to you, then... If you stay here..?"
                          
He didn't say anything, simply smiling at me. He seemed peaceful and.. Resigned? 
I had an idea of what that meant. And that idea made me feel sick. I felt my throat getting tight, a painful knot forming in my stomach. 
                          
He put the tray on the nightstand, wrapping his arms around me. 
And here I was again, a crying mess. 
                          
I heard him say with a reassuring voice:
-"shhh.. I'll be fine, don't worry too much. You should be happy to get out of here. I'm sure you'll find your other half soon, and you both will be traveling all around the world, together. So please, be happy. Not for me, but for yourself, for your parents, for the ones you love.."
                          
His words didn't make me feel any better, it just broke my heart a little more. 
                          
I knew he had to go, even though I didn't want him to. 
He pecked my lips and walked to the door. 
-"have a good night, babygirl."
-"I'll miss you Chris... So much..."
                          
He turned around to face me, his lips curled into a tender smile. 
-"you don't need to pretend anymore, babygirl. See you in the morning."
                          
And he left. 
                          
The thing was: I wasn't pretending anymore. I wasn't playing anymore. 
                          
This night, I cried myself to sleep.