will xviii • history of parties (reprise)

                                    

                                          
Things I came up with but left unsaid
I thought I was correct but I was misled
How could I tell you all I felt
But didn't wanna change?
How could I tell you all of
All of these things?
   -greer, all that's left behind
   "I'll go to the dance with you," I say to Leo.
   Leo was standing at his locker. The school was emptying out and he stares up at me, a curious look on his face. The overhead lighting causes a shadow over his face and he hesitantly shuts the locker door. "Really?"
   "Yes. Really."
   "And I'm guessing this has nothing to do with the fact your ex is going with someone else?" Leo cocks an eyebrow and he throws his backpack around his shoulders. His tone is humorous, which tells me he's not too offended by this.
   "My best friend. He's going with my best friend," I correct defensively. 
   "I can't say it'll be my first time being used," Leo boldly smiles. "I'm just happy to be involved."
   "I thought you and Nico are friends?"
   "We are," Leo shrugs nonchalantly, like agreeing to this wasn't going to put a render in his morals. "However, friends are expendable. Going to a talent school my whole life, you, unfortunately, have to step on people and grab hanging opportunities by the balls."
   "So, are you asking what it's in it for you?"
   Leo grins and we begin walking together down the hall. "I'd like to bargain with you," he says. He walks with confidence, his chin pointed high in the air. He's used to things only working out for him. It's obvious. "I'll go with you. But you have to take me on a date as well."
   I let out a frustrated sigh. "You know, going to the dance with someone isn't even that big of a deal to me."
   "Maybe not," Leo stops suddenly. "However, Nico falling in love with this Percy boy? That would be. Maybe you could be there to watch, but Nico won't be jealous of his ex-boyfriend sulking in the corner watching him with a new guy."
   "I'm not trying to get him back."
   "Fine," Leo yawns. "But you know what happens after dances?"
   I furrow my eyebrows. "The after-parties?"
   "Exactly right. And I'm sure you also know what happens at those parties."
   I straighten my back. Dances, prom...they were romantic nights. Slow dancing with the person you like. Going to the party, drinking...a chill goes down my back.
   "You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do," Luke said, once locking the door. Downstairs, the music was raging on. 
   "It's not that I don't want to," I nervously rubbed my hands together, sitting on the bed. "But what if she notices you're gone and comes looking for you?"
   The 'she' mentioned was his girlfriend, of course. 
   "She's way too drunk and she's with her friends," Luke reassured me, sitting right next to me. He was stronger and bigger than I was. But that's to be expected. He was a senior. I was just a freshman. "I'm not pressuring you, am I?"
   Those kind of words made butterflies erupt in my stomach. In my 14 year-old mind, the adult I was looking at wasn't some weird, ugly, older man that you'd see on Dateline. He was 18, and I knew it was wrong, but to me, those respectful words made him different. It felt like he cared. Caring couldn't be predatory.
   "No," I shook my head, placing my hand on his inner thigh. 
   "I don't think we should," Luke said. But I could tell from the look in his eyes that it's exactly what he wanted. And I felt like I was lucky, that a guy this attractive could be interested in me, and respectful of my needs.