chapter 11

                                    

                                          
"Hey" Sarawat says as he sits on the railing next to Tine.
                          
He has searched for him for a while before Pear told him he's on the rooftop and has warned not to disturb him. Sarawat could have done that but he's missed him so much the entire day he hardly believes he can make it to the another day without seeing Tine. 
                          
"God it's chilly out here" he says as the cool wind brings a shiver down his body. 
                          
Tine chuckles dryly, "wasn't Pam keeping you warm?" 
                          
Sarawat's lips twitch and he looks away, swinging his legs down the railing like Tine. 
                          
He asks while fiddling with his fingers, "How was your date with Earth?" 
                          
Tine sighs, "awful. Turns out it was for the media."
                          
"Oh." 
                          
"Can I ask you something?" Tine says after a minute of silence. 
                          
One chance, his mind encourages him. 
                          
"Yes?" 
                          
"Did you mean it?" Tine asks as he locks his eyes with Sarawat's, "after we had sex that night, you said you liked my smile. Did you mean it?" 
                          
Sarawat's eyes widen in shock and he coughs nervously. 
                          
"Well" he chuckles awkwardly, "I said that? Must be something I say to everyone I sleep with."
                          
Tine nods, without removing his eyes from Sarawat's. 
                          
"Are you drunk?" Sarawat asks, "let's get down from the railing."
                          
Tine dodges Sarawat's hands that try to pull him down but finally gives in when Sarawat carries him and brings him down to the floor. 
                          
Tine chuckles, "why is your face so red?" 
                          
Sarawat rolls his eyes, "you do like to mess with my head, don't you?" 
                          
"YOU" Tine says, pointing at Sarawat, "you are messing with me."
                          
Sarawat frowns, "What do you mean?" 
                          
Tine steps closer to the other man and whispers tiredly, "What do you want to do Sarawat?" 
                          
The said man's eyes study Tine's face. Sarawat was taken off guard, he has not seen this coming. Even the night doesn't hide the honesty in Tine's eyes that Sarawat is afraid will bring his honesty out too. He stammers as he doesn't know what he should say.
                          
What do you want to do Sarawat? He asks himself. He asks not because the answer hasn't crossed his mind. He asks because he's afraid if telling the answer will be the right decision. May be he could make his decision if he's given some time but Sarawat concludes it's not going to happen as he feels Tine's lips against his own. He doesn't respond even if the warmth of Tine's lips is melting him. It is when Tine makes needy, small sounds Sarawat loses his mind. He pulls Tine closer and kisses him back.
                          
The rumble of strong sea waves alongwith the wind is overlapped by the deafening beats of edm playing in the resort club which blends with the distant noises of people in resort, devouring the faint rustles of leaves in the garden and sound of moonlight dripping on the rooftop. The sounds are so many and yet, it all comes down to the sound of the soft kisses that is driving them mad. Standing on the terrace while everybody is down there, too busy to find Tine who's holding the love of his life in his arms, Tine feels perfect. And the way Sarawat is kissing him, he hopes Sarawat feels perfect too. 
                          
"Tine" Sarawat says in a shaky voice, "we can't do this."
                          
Tine pulls away and simply stares at Sarawat whose eyes are closed and hands in his hair, as if he's trying to hold back.