Chapter 55 - Holding on

                                    

                                          

 A couple of weeks had passed and rumours soon spread how we had broken up after he hit James which was true. I felt empty. 
I heard the whispers in the corridor. 
"It's about time!"
"I can't believe she even dated him!"
"I can't believe he even dated her!" 
My friends tried their best to cheer me up as always, they got me distracted at least but then as soon as I went to bed the wave of sadness hit again. He was gone. 
I couldn't bring myself to take off his ring, I wore it on a chain around my neck, hidden under my shirt. I hadn't thrown out his jumpers and t shirts either just hid them from my own sight, right at the bottom of my trunk. 
I had been surrounding myself with my studies, keeping myself distracted and I was getting straight O's for it. One good thing about my unstable state.
The truth was, I had entered a sort of phase. Anyone to distract from Reg, I had hooked up with multiple people boys and girls. Multiple other Gryffindors, a couple of Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws but I steered clear of Slytherins. I even had made out with Marlene for a bit of fun because why not. 
It was Halloween and Gryffindor were throwing a huge party. I put on a red lace tank top and a black leather skirt with fishnets and some boots. Then I topped off the look with eyeliner and some red lipstick.
Marlene and I walked downstairs together holding hands, I was greatful for her she really had been my rock. But I was fine. I promise. It was going much better. Totally better. 
Black Dog by Led Zeppelin was playing and I started to sing along, whipping my hair. Somewhere I heard Sirius yell "It's my song!"
I adored that song, I just loved Led Zeppelin. I had a lot of drinks that night and before I knew it, I was sat on the lap of some random boy as he kissed down my neck. None of the people I had got with were anything compared to Reg. But I had to forget him. However I couldn't help but literally stare off into space, was I supposed to enjoy this? 
"Oh this is a public place." Sirius grinned and interrupted us. I reluctantly stood up and crossed my arms. The boy quickly lost himself in the crowd. 
"Glad you came, he was a bore." I sighed and picked up my bottle of wine that I'd left on the coffee table. 
"James is almost puking up seeing you kissing strangers, the alcohol doesn't help. But just take your boy toy's upstairs please?" He smirked, teasing me. 
"Nah I don't go that far with anyone thank you." I took a sip from my bottle to find it empty. That was the thing about parties, if I put my drink down for one minute then it was gone. 
I looked up at the person there with tall dark hair, ice blue eyes. Fuck sake. "What are you doing here? This is a Gryffindor party. Or are you looking for another fight?" It was always easier to be annoyed or angry than to admit how badly I was hurting. 
"Calm down, you snuck into our party last year. Besides I don't really enjoy watching you hook up with 5 people in one night." Reg said cooly. As if we were never even together. He was awfully good at pretending it scared me. 
"Then leave." I said as I sipped my drink. "You don't get to control me. I won't apologize for having fun. Stop preaching to me like you know what I'm feeling. I often wonder if you even know me at all if you thought I'd be fine with how you're acting."
"You don't like butter in your sandwiches, your favorite song is Killer Queen by Queen, you prefer cats over dogs and you hate avocados. Your favorite colour is green but you don't like to admit it because you're Gryffindor. You always want to be cuddled while you fall asleep but you get too hot and roll over, you only smoke when you're really stressed and you hate having your hair in a ponytail because you get self conscious of your forehead." He took the bottle out of my hand and looked at it with a frown. "And you hate rosè, you prefer white so I don't know why you're drinking this but yeah, I don't know you." He shrugged and raised his cup to drink from it. "You're just trying to convince yourself you did the right thing when everyone can see you spiralling."