-tw!! (mentions of cutting, suicide, overdose, vaping, alcohol, blades, depression)
-song at the top ^
ꨄ
⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺
y/n pov:
⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺
my sleeves got rolled up, revealing my cuts. some deeper than the others. tears streaming down my face faster by the second.
people were annoyed by me, they told me I wasn't worth it. my parents aren't no where near me and my friends never make me feel happy. it's all an act. I dress up, put a smile on my face and then go out and act like everything is fine when it really isn't. I go home and drink a few glasses of alcohol, then end up vaping that night trying my best to get away from reality. I knew if I stopped running away and actually faced the suffocating experience of life I would lose all my crap.
Vinnie was there for me. God he was amazing. We have been friends for almost 3 years now. He try's his best getting me to eat when I don't feel like it. He even starts baths for me if It was a rough night. He never looked at me wrong and never judged me. He knew the shit I was going through and he wanted to help. But there was no way I was going to have vinnie get too attached to me. There will be a day where I'm no longer here. Everyone will no longer ask where I'm at. And no one will miss me. Why would they? They prove to me that I'm nothing. If anything they would be happier. It felt like a burden giving someone all my problems, especially giving vinnie them. He needed love and affection, not my bullshit.
My back was now pressed against the bathroom wall, with a blade ready to be pressed into my skin. I was about to start when I dropped the sharp object, now crying into my shaking hands. This was unfair. Life was unfair. And yet there was no way out of it. I picked up the vape right next to me and took a few puffs. My hands and legs shaking. My eyes beamed at the blade, wondering what the hell was wrong me. My thoughts got interrupted by a knock on the door.
"y/n." vinnie spoke in his soft voice
"hm?" was the only thing I could reply with
"look y/n I know what you're going through but plz don't hurt yourself love. Let me help you."
Ever since I fell into this depression state vinnie has been showing more affection to me. Things like calling me cute names, kissing my forehead (as friends), hugging me and holding my hand in the tough times. Told you he was amazing.
"No vin I don't want you to see me like this" I stated
"y/n plz just let me in"
I slowly got up, gripping onto the counter to hold my balance. The door became unlocked, revealing vinnie glancing up at me with the softest eyes ever.
"awh y/n" he pulled me into a warm hug and I started crying into his shoulder, my arms wrapped around his neck. It was as if he was holding my whole limp body together. Keeping it in one piece. Leaving it whole. when a piece fell he always found a way to put it back together.
"I can't do this anymore vinnie" his embrace on our hug became tighter hearing me say those words. "no y/n, don't ever say that, you mean the fucking world to me. you're not going through this alone, I'm going to hold your hand the entire time on this journey okay?" Another sob left my mouth and he began stroking my hair, still never breaking our clasp. "but it's so hard to deal with" I trembled. "I know love.. I know"
⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺
1 week later:
⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺
I was cleaning out my nasty ass room, trash was everywhere, cups of unknown liquid inside placed on tables, clothes both clean and dirty all over my floor, basically just a depression room. I was almost done, the last thing was my nightstand. As I opened the cabinet door, all my bottles of alcohol were inside. My eyes widened and I picked up one of the 4 by 4's. Tears swelled up remembering when I last took it.
