79. Surprise.

                                    

                                          
****TW: brief mentions of suicide.****
so the songs she performs in this chapter are:
lie to me - tate mcrae
too sad to cry - sasha sloan
for obvious reasons i had to change the part about the mom in the second song.
PLS ENJOY ;)
                          
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Chapter 79
                          
Harry's Pov. 
                          
I don't know if I look okay for tonight. I don't want to look too over the top but I don't want to look like a fucking bum. I'm just wearing black pants with the tiny pinstripes and a black top. I also don't want to be noticed so Matt told me to come backstage once she's on stage and then I can squeeze side stage behind him so she won't notice but I can still see. 
                          
I'm so fucking nervous. It's been so long since i've seen her and I just don't even know if she'll want to see me. 
                          
I just really fucking hope this is the right choice. 
                          
We never really got closure. I didn't know that the last time I saw her was going to be the last time. It's all just hitting me hard ever since she's gotten to London and I just...I wanna see her. I just hope she feels the same. 
                          
The next hour was spent psyching myself the fuck out and calling Jeff. He was fucking stoked but of course he would be, he loves Alycia. But i'm fucking nervous and I wanted some advice but he was too excited to give any proper advice. 
                          
So when Gemma called me randomly, I knew I had to tell her. Which led me to this moment in my bathroom fixing my hair and waiting on my Uber while Gemma was on speaker.
                          
"Just don't fuck it up honestly." "Wow, a huge thanks to you for that Gem." I said sarcastically. 
                          
She laughed before speaking again, "I'm sorry, i'm just saying, don't let anything effect the moment. Don't stress so much about it and let it effect anything. Be yourself. She loves you and you love her so just...let it be." 
                          
She's right. If I keep overthinking it, i'll be different. Not on purpose but obviously when you're nervous, it doesn't allow your full self to shine through. I'm still gonna be fucking nervous though but I have to remember it's Alycia. She was my best fucking friend. She is my best fucking friend. I just hope it all still feels the same. 
                          
"Yeah...alright. You're right. Thanks Gem." 
                          
A notification popped up on my phone telling me that the Uber was 2 minutes away. 
                          
"My Uber is about to be here so I have to go but I love you." "Love you too Haz. If it works out, I wanna meet her before mum." 
                          
I chuckled as I thought about Alycia finally meeting the two most important people in my life. It's always been hard to figure out how she could meet them because they live here but now she's here...and I've always wanted her to meet them. 
                          
 "Assuming this works out, you will be. Promise." 
                          
We eventually said our goodbyes before I locked up and headed out of the house. 
                          
I got into my Uber and as soon as we headed towards the venue, my nerves got even worse. Fuck, I hope this wasn't a bad idea.