Chapter Seven - Bed Knobs and Jawbones

                                    

                                          

                          
Dean was pacing around the library, phone shoved against his ear.
                          

                          
            “Yes, squirrel?” Crowley asked as he picked up his phone. 
                          

                          
            “Finally!” Dean said. “I’ve been calling you for fifteen minutes! Where the hell have you been?!”
                          

                          
            “Well, I’m sorry to have inconvenienced you, princess, but I was busy. Now what in the name of down here do you want?” Crowley asked crossly. 
                          

                          
            “What the hell did you do, swallow Bobby?” Dean asked.
                          

                          
            “That’s what you called me for?” Crowley asked. “If your annoying friend is missing, I assure you that it’s no fault of mine. I haven’t swallowed anyone in at least three centuries and I’m not about to fall off the wagon now.”
                          

                          
            “Uh, no. That’s not what I called you for,” Dean said. “We found Lucifer.”
                          

                          
            “Where?” Crowley asked tersely.
                          

                          
            “He’s in Lucy. By the way, how is that possible?” Dean asked. 
                          

                          
            “He’s what!?!?” Crowley yelled into the phone.
                          

                          
            “Oh, that reminds me,” Dean said calmly. “Get the hell over here!”
                          

                          
            “I’m already here.” Crowley said from behind Dean.
                          

                          
            Dean whirled around. “Son of a bitch! You know better than to do that!” he said. “Geez, why does every single demon in the existence of Hell have a need to appear behind people?” he muttered. 
                          

                          
            “It’s a scare tactic, squirrel,” Crowley said. “And judging by your reaction, it works quite well. You know, you’re surprisingly calm--"
                          

                          
            “One of us needs to be,” Dean interrupted.
                          

                          
            “-Considering you just found out that Lucifer’s possessing the girl you love,” Crowley finished.
                          

                          
            “How did you know about that?” Dean asked suspiciously.
                          

                          
            Crowley looked at him disdainfully. “Because I’m not an idiot.”
                          

                          
            “You weren’t even here!” Dean exclaimed. 
                          

                          
            “I didn’t need to be. It’s plastered all over your face like a bad sitcom,” Crowley told him. 
                          

                          
            “You’re a cheeky bastard, you know that?” Dean told him.
                          

                          
            Crowley shrugged. “I’m a demon, it comes with the territory.” Dean rolled his eyes.