The Cliff Side

                                    

                                          
"Where are we going?" I ask, clutching to my seat. 
                          
Brittany is barreling down the highway at over 80 miles per hour. 
                          
There is no expression on her face. She just stares straight ahead. 
                          
"Where are we going?" I ask for the fifth time. 
                          
She still doesn't answer me. 
                          
She turns the car sharply down a dirt road without even turning on her blinker. Cars honk from behind us. I bounce in my seat. She keeps driving at alarmingly fast speeds, silent. 
                          
She speeds through stop signs and pot holes and past other cars. 
                          
And then, we just stop. 
                          
We're on a cliff side, no other cars in sight. 
                          
Brittany doesn't talk as she gets out of the car. She's expecting me to follow her, so I do. 
                          
There's a tree right by the edge of the cliff. Brittany is walking towards it. She starts climbing. I watch her as she does it, confused. When she gets to the second branch she stops and looks down at me. 
                          
"Climb," she says. 
                          
"What the hell?" I ask, eyeing the tree. 
                          
"Just come on! You won't get hurt," she says, turning and continuing to ascend to the top. 
                          
I've never climbed a tree before. I slowly begin to follow her, clutching each branch with my life. 
                          
"Why are we scaling a tree?" I ask. I hear Brittany laugh. 
                          
"You'll see, just keep climbing." 
                          
The bark is making my hands itch and chafe. I see Brittany, already sitting on the top branch, looking down at me. 
                          
"We're really high up," I say, too scared to look down. Brittany giggles. 
                          
"Oh, don't tell me you're scared of heights!" she teases. 
                          
"Maybe just a little."
                          
"Alright, hold on, I got you," she says, making her descent. 
                          
She crouches on the branch right above me and holds out her hand. The smile on her face is nurturing, so different from the cold expression she wore in the car. I take her hand and she pulls me up with ease. 
                          
"I'll be right behind you the whole time, so don't be scared," she whispers, her face really close to mine. I gulp and nod, looking up. We don't have that much further to go, only three more branches. 
                          
I reach out for the branch and pull myself up. I keep going, not wanting to look down and scare myself. 
                          
I make it to the top, Brittany close behind. She sits next to me on the branch. 
                          
"Whoa, the view's amazing," I breathe out. The cliff overlooks all of Lima, and even thought it's not much, it's gorgeous. Since it's dark, all the streetlights and billboards light up the town, and making for a pretty view. 
                          
"Yeah, the view's breathtaking," she agrees, but she's not looking at the city. She's looking at me. 
                          
"Is that why we climbed this tree? For the view?" I ask, turning to look at her. Her smile fades and she looks down at her lap. 
                          
"Being up high helps me think better. It clears my head," she says. "I thought a lot about what you said earlier. And I agree. I want this to work too. I want to keep what we have alive. When I'm with you, I feel so happy. I feel like all of my hiding and suffering has been worth it. You're worth it Santana. And that scares me. My want for you scares me." 
                          
I take her hand. "I understand. You're right. It's scary. You could go to jail. I wouldn't want you to risk your freedom for someone like me. I'm not special. There are thousands of girls out there just like me. Girls that aren't your students. I've been selfish the past few days, trying to get you to hide with me. I'm learning how to be more mature though, and I've realized that you're right. This can't work." 
                          
She shakes her head. "No, you don't get it! I'm ready now! I'm ready to hide with you! I'm giving in Santana. I want to be with you. We can make this work. We can." 
                          
My heart is racing. "Are you sure?" I ask. Brittany bites her bottom lip and nods. 
                          
"We can make this work if we try," she says. "It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it."
                          
I lean my head on her shoulder. 
                          
And in that moment, I'm filled with joy.
                          
**********
                          
"Jump, I'll catch you!" Brittany says as she stands on the ground. 
                          
I stand on the branch and look down at her. She's only a few feet away, but it seems like so much further. 
                          
I take a deep breath and jump. 
                          
I feel her grasp around my waist. She falls over onto the ground and I land on top of her. She giggles. 
                          
I roll off of her and we both get up. I walk and lean against her car.
                          
"It sucks that you have to go home," Brittany says, standing in front of me. 
                          
"My mom will worry. But tomorrow's Saturday. I could come over." 
                          
"I'd love that," Brittany says, walking closer to me.
                          
She cups my face and kisses me, pushing me harder against her car. I melt into her touch and kiss her back, equally as forceful. I see Brittany fumbling to open the backseat. She finally does and pushes me inside, laying me down with her on top of me. 
                          
Her lips leave mine and trail down my neck, sucking at my jaw. I've been waiting to feel her against me like this since that day in the janitors closet. She sits up, straddling me and pulls off her shirt. She looks so good with the moonlight reflecting off her bare skin. She presses her lips against mine again. 
                          
I want her so bad, but is this all this is for her? Is this just a sexual thing for her? She's been with so many people. She's probably used to fucking so early in the relationship. She's probably used to being in charge. 
                          
She reaches down for my shirt and tugs at it. 
                          
"Help me here," she breathes. 
                          
I gently push at her chest.
                          
She breaks away from me, confused. 
                          
"What, did I do something wrong?" she asks. 
                          
"No, no, it's just...is that what I am to you? Just a sex object?"
                          
"Oh, god no! What makes you think that?" 
                          
"It's just, the two times that you've opened up to me, it's ended up with us making out. It makes me feel like all you want is to fool around. And believe me, I want to, but not right now. I want my first time to be special, after we've been together for a while, and preferably not in a car," I say. 
                          
Brittany smiles.
                          
"You're not a sex object. I'm sorry I overstepped my boundaries. We can wait. I'll take you home now," she says, pulling her shirt back on and getting out of the car. 
                          
"Hey, I said I didn't want sex yet. I never said we couldn't make out," I say, pulling her back on top of me. 
                          
She smiles.
                          
"You're really cute, did you know that?" she breathes against my skin.