Pt 8. Clarity

                                    

                                          
TW BODY DISMORPHIA 
MENTIONS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT (not major)
                          
I walk into the apartment and find dad sitting on the couch. I decide that nows a good time to talk to dad. "Hey dad." He looks up at me and smiles. "Hey (y/n)." he looks down at his hands again. "Dad? why were you gone for so long? What happened?" Dad sighed and looked up at me. "Nick is in jail. I found him, beat him up, and dropped him off at the police station. I was gone for two days because they kept me there for assault." I sit on the couch beside him and pull him into a hug. He hugs me back and starts to sob, making me cry too. "I- I couldn't bare the thought that someone touched my baby. I had to find him. I'm sorry." I hug him harder. "Dad don't be sorry. I love you." "I love you too (y/n)" I ended up making Dad some potato soup for dinner. It's always been his favorite. 
                          
After dinner, i kissed dad goodnight and went to the bathroom to shower. I take off my Larry's clothes and set them on the counter. The water is really hot so it takes me a minute to get used to it. After i get out and look at myself in the mirror. wow. your really fat. why would anyone want to touch that? we both know that Larry doesn't like you. I started to bawl. I wrap a towel around myself and sit on the bathroom floor. I hated myself and didn't understand how Larry could even like me. I finally calm down and put Larry's clothes back on. When i climb into bed, i feel so numb. I didn't know how to feel because so many good things have happened today. I was so happy that Larry kissed me and i got to hangout with the group, but i still felt so sad at the same time. I sit up and grab my guitar. I strum a few chords before playing a Sanity's Fall song. I'm surprised i didn't mess up. "Wow. That was really good." I look up and see Larry in my doorway. "What are you doing here?" He looks at me concerned "You left your clothes. Are you okay?" I sigh and get up to take my clothes from him. "Thank you. Yes i'm okay." He smiles softly and pulls me into a hug. "You know that you can talk to me about anything right? I'm here for you (y/n)." I smile and take a deep breath. "Thank you Larry. I'm just struggling with some stuff." He looks down at me. "Hm? Like what?" I hesitate to answer. "Uhm. my body. i've struggled with it for a while. it's fine, really." Larry pulls away and sits me down in my bed. "(y/n). you are perfect. in every way. you are absolutely beautiful. don't you ever feel like that about yourself. you don't deserve that." I couldn't help it. I began to sob. He pulled me into a hug and i grabbed his shirt and sobbed into him. I couldn't stop it. He stroked my hair and continuously said, "Shh, It's okay. I'm here."
I pulled him into bed with me and sat in his arms. I calmed down and fell asleep. 
                          
I woke up and Larry was gone. It took me a few minutes to remember what happened last night. I took a deep breath in and got up. i got dizzy from standing up too fast. "I need to drink more water." I walk to my closet and scan it. I find a pair of jean shorts and a baggy Slipknot T-Shirt. I walk to the bathroom and change into my clothes and put on makeup. Mascara and a little highlighter on the nose. While throwing my hair into a bun, i hear my phone ding.
                          
Lar<3
hey (y/n) how did you sleep?
                          
i slept fine, what about you?
                          
Lar<3
i slept good at your house, but i had to come home to shower. i couldn't sleep well the rest of the night.
                          
awh:( why not?
                          
Lar<3
i was worried about you.
                          
don't worry about me Larry. it's not good for you to worry. 
                          
Lar<3
it's hard not to worry about my girlfriend 
                          
girlfriend?
                          
Lar<3 
yep. no arguing.
                          
i'm coming down now.

                          
I grab my bag, vape, and my phone and head out to the kitchen. "Morning Dad." you hug him from behind. "I'm gonna be gone all day today okay (y/n)? Don't do anything too stupid. Love ya kiddo." "Love you too dad." You grab a soda and head to Larry's apartment. I walk into his apartment and greet Lisa. "Morning Lisa! is Larry here?" "Yep. He's in his room." I walk into his room and find him painting. He has his hair up in a bun. "Hey Larry!" I hug him from behind. He notices the necklace that he gave me around my neck. "You kept the necklace?" I look down at him. "Of course!" He smiles at me and pulls me down to kiss him. "You look really good today." He eyes me up and down. "Thank you! You look amazing as well. Not to mention the man bun." His face starts to turn pink. "Wanna walk to school with me tomorrow?" I ask. "don't you have a car?" I smile. "Yea, but i would prefer to walk to spend more time with you." He has the stupidest smile on his face. "Your amazing. you know that right?" "Right back at ya." He pulls me down onto his lap and places his hands on my waist. "i think i love you" I was in shock. I have been so worried that he didn't love me back. "I do love you Larry." he smiles and pulls me into a kiss. He moves his hands down to my hips and eventually my thighs. He starts to squeeze and rub them. I pull away and laugh. "Are you obsessed with my thighs or something?" he gets serious. "Yes. Yes i am." "And i thought my obsession with your hair was bad."
                          
(A/n)
I haven't written much today since it's a holiday. Please ignore any typos. This was written at 2AM