Chapter 17

                                    

                                          
Harry

                          
What the fuck are you doing Harry. She is just another girl why the fuck are you so obsessed with her. I mean god look at her. 
                          
As soon as she stuck her head out the car window and started singing along to the I Wanna be Yours I knew I was done for. 
                          
It took every ounce of strength I have not to slam my lips against hers that instant. I can't help but want to kiss every inch of her bronze skin and have her a whimpering mess underneath me. But there is nothing I can do about it. Even though I know her and Mitch aren't a thing anymore I can't let myself have her. God do I want her. She is everything I don't deserve but whole heartedly want. Her laugh and her smile are contagious. The bad boy image I put up for everyone is demolished as soon as I see her smile. 
                          
That's why I need to push her away. But I can't. I tell myself I have to, then I do things like what I'm about to do now. 
                          
Once she brings herself back into the car I can't stop myself from grabbing her face and singing the damn lyrics to her.  I chant to her "I just wanna be yours,"' as she looks me dead in the eyes. Even though we stare at one another quite a lot I've never noticed how beautiful her eyes are. They are deep blue like the ocean and they captivate me. 
                          
Everything about her does. 
                          
As much as I want that, I need to regather myself. I can't tempt myself any longer. Looking away from her I stare forward and try to focus on my driving even though I know there is no chance I'll ever be able to get her out of my head. 
                          
Pulling up to her flat I wish I could make an excuse for her to stay longer. I know it's wrong but I just want to see her laugh or smile once more. 
                          
But my arrogance wont let me have that. Instead I need to put up my front. Looking at her I can see how angry she is with me but it needs to stay that way. I need her to hate me. And that's why I need to be a dick. I need to make sure she stays away.
                          
After she gets out of the car I do the only thing I can think of. I throw the collar back at her. 
                          
Confused, she looks up at me. 
                          
"This is yours now. I want people to know what's mine."
                          
I know these words will send her over the edge. I know she isn't my property but deep down I want her to be. 
                          
"Bye love, see you very soon."
                          
Driving away I look behind me in the rear view mirror and see her stuck in the same spot. Even from a distance I still am enamored with her beauty.
                          
I wanna be yours. 
                          
God I wanna be yours but I can't. She can't know me. If she does, I'll never see her again. 
                          
I have to see her. Even if I can't talk to her I need to see her. She has me wrapped around her finger and doesn't even know. She can never know. 
                          
I don't deserve to know her. 
                          
I don't deserve to even look at her. 
                          
Despite all of that I find myself stopping my mustang in the middle of the road and turning around. For some god forsaken reason I care what she thinks about me. I don't want her to think I'm a dickhead. I don't want her to think I'm arrogant. God I don't want her to see the damn wall I always put up. 
                          
Against all my morals I drive towards her place for the second time tonight. Even though she probably won't even talk to me after the stunt I pulled, I don't care. I just need to see her. 
                          
I have to do something about the ache I feel for her. At this point its not even about wanting to fuck her senseless. Don't get me wrong I still very much want to do that, but I just want her to look at me and not want to slit my throat.