15: Feelings

                                    

                                          
It's been a few days since Chuuya's injury. He seems to be recovering. I haven't spoken to anyone since then. I haven't been able to face anyone either. 
It felt comforting to not be around humans for a while. Unfortunately, I knew that I would have to restart training soon.
                          
I got up from my bed and decided to go for a walk. I never took walks before I joined the Port Mafia. 
                          
It's a new habit I have picked up. 
                          
As I made my way down the hall, I heard noises coming from the training room. It made me curious. 
                          
I slowly peeked my head through the door to see a black haired guy fighting with Chuuya. Chuuya was on top of the guy, holding him down on the floor. 
                          
"Don't tell me this is all you got" Chuuya said. The other guy let out a groan. "You shouldn't even be fighting. You're still recovering" he said. Chuuya let out a laugh. "You're giving me more reasons to think you're pathetic for losing to me" Chuuya said. The guy tried to fight his way out of Chuuya's grip and managed to succeed. He grabbed Chuuya by the neck before activating what seemed like his ability.
                          
His ability reminded me of my own. It seemed to have destructive powers. "Who's losing now?" he asked Chuuya. Chuuya flinched and held his side. 
                          
The guy immediately let go of him. 
                          
"You need to be careful with that injury" he told him. "Whatever" Chuuya replied back and looked up to meet with my eyes. I immediately pulled my head out of the door frame. "Hey!" I heard. I closed my eyes in embarrassment. "Get in here" I heard Chuuya say. 
                          
I slowly entered the training room. The black haired guy shot me a judgemental look. "Is this the freak?" he asked. Chuuya hit his shoulder. "Be nice" he said.     
I looked away.
                          
Freak.
                          
I didn't know what it meant, but it sounded like something that would be perceived as hurtful. 
                          
"Y/n this is Akutagawa" Chuuya told me. I looked at the guy. "I'll distance myself from you before you start screaming at me" he said. "I don't see the point in us interacting anyways" he said before putting his hands in his pocket and walking away. I watched as he exited the training room.
                          
I turned back to look at Chuuya. His body was covered in sweat. His breathing was still unstable. It seemed like they had been training for a while. 
                          
"How are you?" he asked. 
                          
Shouldn't I ask him that question since he is the one who got hurt. Was I supposed to answer him or ask him the question back? I was contemplating how to act and what to say.
                          
I stayed quiet. 
                          
He raised his eyebrows at me while grabbing a towel and ruffling his hair. "What? Cat got your tongue?" he asked.
                          
Was that a joke? Sarcasm? Something humans should understand? 
                          
"Cat?" I asked confused. 
                          
He let out a laugh. "Nevermind" he said while grabbing a water bottle from the bench.
                          
"How is your injury?" I asked. "It's fine" he said. "Was that guy your friend?" I asked. "Friend is a big word" he said. "You could say colleagues" he added. I slowly nodded.
                          
"Do you have plans?" he asked. I shook my head. "Great" he said and threw a towel at me. I looked at him confused. "You versus me right now" he said.
                          
It took me by surprise.
                          
"Right now?" I hesitantly asked. "Yeah. Why? Are you unprepared?" he said with a slight smirk on his face. Fighting seemed like the only thing he actually enjoyed. It was the only time that I would see him with a smile on his face. 
                          
"I wanted to go for a walk" I said. "If you win, I'll let you go" he said. "If I lose?" I asked. "Then we keep going until you actually win" he said. "You can't use your ability" he added.
                          
This was going to be hard.
                          
I am not a good fighter. I have never seen the purpose in fighting. It doesn't resolve anything and leaves everyone in pain. Nevertheless, I had to do this. I have to work hard in order to reach my final goal. 
                          
I got in position and stood in front of him. The slight smirk never left his face. To be fair, it intimidated me. I slowly took my first step towards him before trying to attack him. He stopped my fist with one hand. "Come on" he said. "I know you can do better" he said. I tried to throw another punch, which he also blocked. 
                          
He tripped me before pinning me to the floor with one hand. "You've been slacking off" he said. "At this rate you will fall behind" he added. I tried to get out of his grip, but it was no use.
                          
I decided to think strategically. I couldn't give up. I examined the way that he was holding me down. I noticed how he was only putting pressure on the top half of my body and not my legs. I lifted my leg before kicking him off me with full strength. 
                          
I managed to get him off me. I then made my way to attack him but he held his hand up, signalling me to stop. I looked at him surprised as I saw him fall to one knee. He was holding his side with one hand.
                          
"D-Did I hurt you?" I panicked and rushed over to him.
                          
Why did I care? No. Why did I care so much? I haven't cared about anyone like I've cared about him for so long. 
                          
It seemed like I had kicked him in the side.
                          
 "Are you ok?" I asked. He nodded.
                          
"I'm sorr-" I started but he cut me off. "No, you did great" he said. I looked at him surprised. "But I hurt you" I pointed out. "On the battlefield, we are enemies. You can't feel empathy for me" he said and looked up.
                          
Our eyes met.
                          
"Never feel bad for me ok?"