Chapter 33: Grief

                                    

                                          
'am I happy?' I asked myself. I wasn't happy, but neither was I sad. I think having sex with Levi helped a lot. Maybe that's EXACTLY what I needed. I turned to my right, and saw Levi sleeping. He looks so at peace.. I cant get that image of him looking at me with fear out of my head..
                          
I put his hair aside from his face, i held his face and stroked hid cheek with my thumb. What could i have done to deserve him? I dont deserve him, his love, his time, his worry, his sorrow.. I dont deserve it all.
                          
Levi opened his eyes, and smiled. I smiled back, he held my hand and kissed it.
                          
"goodmorning baby." He said with his deep, and raspy voice. 
                          
"morning." I said softly, he furrowed his eyebrows.
                          
"what's wrong?" he asked, i nodded no.
                          
"nothing, dont worry. We should get up." I said sitting up and walking to the bathroom. I felt like today would be a very sad, and boring day. I wasnt even sure if i wanted to go out. I'm not feeling myself. I walked out the bathroom, to see Levi putting his clothes on.
                          
"i think im gonna stay in today. I dont feel like doing anything today." I said walking to the bed. Levi looked at me and sighed. He walked up to me, and sat beside me.
                          
"i'm sorry Y/n. For whatever youre going through currently. I promise i'll be back." He said to me, he held my hand and gripped it tightly. I smiled and nodded, he kissed my forehead and left.
                          
I laid back, and sighed.
                          
"how am i gonna let Rico's death get to me like this. She wouldnt want me to be like this.." I mumbled to myself, i sat up and ran to the bathroom.
                          
i quickly got dressed, and headed out. I needed to do something in order for me to grieve over Rico's death.