Lost

                                    

                                          


                          
Your POV
                          
When was the last time I had ever felt happy? When I see myself I don't see the same person I used to be but someone who is trying to become much bigger than she already is. I feel like I'm drowning in a bottomless pit in which I can't swim back up. Is this normal to feel? When I see people I can't see them as regular people but the shadows that past me when I was left alone to protect myself. 
                          
The shadows passed by without a care and leaving me all alone to deal with it on my own, but what was I doing here again? That person in the mirror wasn't me anymore but someone that couldn't move on. Even after I put that man behind bars my heart still had a hole that continued to tear away from me. Wasn't this over already? Don't I have people that love me? Why can't I move on? Staring back at my reflection I could only see a little girl desperately trying to call out but why? 
                          
Why was my heart still in pain? Why did I still hate myself so much? My actions and feelings always made people hate me and I thought that I'd never let that get in the way of me but it always did. Can't they see how much their words hurt me too? If I could change I would but I was trapped being the same person I was in those days. 
                          
The selfish girl who couldn't move on. Do I even deserve his smile? Even though I lived through all of this darkness he was the only clear thing in front of me, my savior. When I called out to him, he was the only one who turned back to look at me. It was a warm feeling I had wanted to cherish for the rest of my life but something wasn't right anymore. 
                          
There was something in my head consuming me slowly and I started to lose my sanity. I turned around to see everyone staring at me with confused looks on their faces. Why were they staring? Why was I crying? I couldn't remember what I was doing here anymore. 
                          
"Y/n! Y/n!" 
                          
I crouched down and placed my hands on my ears. Something wasn't right anymore, everything hurt so much and I couldn't breathe. I opened my eyes and in front of me was my dad. He looked as happy as usual and the pain I felt in my chest was slowly relieving itself. I reached out for him but he slowly disappeared and I couldn't see him anymore. Why did you leave me too? This was my destiny, to be alone for the rest of my life. 
                          
"You'll never be alone again!" 
                          
That's what he said to me. He promised that I wouldn't get left alone. Even after everything I had done he stayed by my side and smiled, and yet I still hurt him more. I hate myself, those words repeated themselves in my head over and over again and it drove me mad. I didn't ask to be this way, I didn't want to be like this anymore. Why did I only hurt the people I loved? Wasn't it enough for me to lose everything? Why did you take him too. I couldn't hear them any clearer and I broke down crying. The man who I thought would stay by my side was gone now. I was stupid wasn't I? Because I was too selfish and ignorant I lost the one person that made me feel loved. Is it supposed to feel this cold? Everything hurts. 
                          


                          


                          
God I'm an asshole but here you go :D I hope you guys enjoyed! -A