66. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑆𝑒𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝐼 𝐾𝑒𝑒𝑝

                                    

                                          
Syn
                          
"Oh?" I asked with a raised brow as my eyes looked into hers. I didn't ever think she found the way I continuously pursued her hot. In fact, I assumed she found it annoying. 
                          
"Don't get me wrong, it's frustrating sometimes but girls like it," she said shyly. 
                          
"I don't care about girls, I care about you," I said honestly. "Do you like it?"
                          
She opened her mouth to answer but instead cleared her throat and sat up on the bed. "I'm still mad at you."
                          
"I know," I said. 
                          
"Just because I'm not exactly..." she trailed off. "...kicking you off the bed, doesn't mean that we're all good. We're not together."
                          
"So you say," I said slowly with a smile. If tonight was any indication, I'd say we were still completely together. I knew she wanted me but I knew her stubbornness and my actions were to blame for her reservation. 
                          
"So I- do say—..." she stuttered added she eyed me suspiciously. "Stop trying to confuse me."
                          
"I'm not doing anything," I retorted sincerely. 
                          
She looked at me for a long moment before running her hands through her hair and burying her face into the mattress. I moved my hand to her back to comfort her but she pushed me away and groaned into the sheets. 
                          
When she lifted her head her eyes were red and puffy as she looked at me tiredly. The expression on her face made my chest cave but I could only hope that it wasn't because of me. 
                          
"Why can't you just be honest with me about where you were?" She asked quietly. 
                          
"I just can't," I answered as I caressed her cheek. 
                          
"Can't or won't?" She asked. 
                          
"Both," I admitted. "If I told you, you'd ask too many questions and I can't answer them."
                          
"What if you just tell me and I won't ask anything?"
                          
"We both know you're too nosy to do that," I teased. 
                          
She moved my hand away from her skin and laid her cheek on the bed. I wanted to reach out to comfort her but I knew that was the last thing she wanted. She wanted answers, and for her sake and Bezy's I couldn't give them to her. 
                          
Tell her you remember her. I didn't doubt that telling her would alleviate her heartache but it would prompt her to ask other questions that I wasn't allowed to answer. 
                          
Lie to her. That was always an option. I could tell her that I mysteriously fell asleep for an entire month and woke up with my memories, but that'd be a lie. And in the end, when the truth came out, she'd be upset that I was untruthful. 
                          
The only thing I could do was let the mystery linger in the air. I know it messed with her mind but there was nothing I could do. She'd never forgive herself if Bezy died because of me being unable to keep the truth from her. 
                          
All these questions in my mind and Queen's heartbroken look made me realize why God so easily offered this deal. He wanted to break us apart. It was clear that forces apart from us were failing and the only way to hurt us was from the inside. 
                          
Smart bastard. I had to keep my mouth shut for Queen's well-being while her well-being would benefit from me being truthful. It was a painful conundrum handcrafted but the saint himself. 
                          
If I could go back I'd still make the same deal though. Bezy didn't deserve to die by a bullet with my name on it. Poor thing didn't know that I would have survived it and he ran in front of me. A selfless but impulsive act that only he was capable of.