-11-

                                    

                                          
I went inside the house after picking up the broken pieces of the mug I broke.I went to my bedroom and put my hand under the cold water.
                          
A loud groan left me with the pain.I carefully took the stuck pieces out of my hand."Raven?!"I sighed as the pain finally faded away and I fell into numbness.
                          
"Nothing.I'm fine,I just broke the mug."She stepped over to me and I stopped her."Lux,don't.I'm fine now."She at least wanted to wrap up my hand and then she realised she had no bandage.
                          
"Let me guess,Sorin has spare bandages?""I may not like what he does for a living or what his father does,nor he may not like me,but he's the only one I know in this apartment."
                          
"I'll go ask.He's going to ask questions and you will answer.I won't answer,I know that much."
                          
Blood dripping from my hand,I took a towel and went upstairs.Xander answered the door."What?""Bandage?"He scoffed."Why?"
                          
I took my hand behind my back and opened the towel."Is this enough?"He closed the door and came back with bandages."Lux's hands will tremble when she wraps your hand up."
                          
"I'll do it myself for fuck's sake.""I don't know a lot about wrapping up wounds.Come inside."His hand reached to my shoulder and I backed away."Touch me and I'll hurt you."
                          
I walked in and he took me to the kitchen."Wait here."
                          
It's three in the fucking morning and I'm here!I'm in Sorin Einar's apartment.My hand is bleeding and only a towel is putting pressure.At least it is my right hand.I'm a left handed person.
                          
I can still draw.Which is actually a really good thing for me.
                          
While Xander was gone,I found a bottle of Crown Royal.I poured a glass and while I was chugging it down to numb the pain,Sorin walked in.
                          
He took a bottle of tequila from the cabinet and turned to me."Sink,put your hand over the sink."I rolled my eyes."It was a fucking mug,not a surgical knife that cut my hand."
                          
"Do you want to take the risk or not?"I took the towel off of my hand and he poured the drink on my hand.It burned but I've been through worse.
                          
"Geez,you're a tough."I turned to Xander."Being used to pain and going numb is not tough,it's weak.If you get through the pain without being used to it nor going numb,that's tough."
                          
The door got knocked again and Lux walked in with  Xander while Sorin was wrapping up my hand.He was actually gentle but out of temporary fear,I couldn't look at him.
                          
"Let's go,you have projects to hand over tomorrow."I nodded."Believe me I remember."Xander walked us to the door."No thanks?"I shook my head."Not really."
                          
We came down to our place and I just went to bed.
                          
Next morning,Lux woke me up."We have an hour left,Raven.""I know,I'm already dressed."I lifted the quilt."Won't you eat breakfast?""I don't eat breakfast."
                          
"You do,at school.""No,I don't.What I do is lie."I opened my eyes and rolled off of the bed."No offense,but I don't like eating during the day.It makes me tired."
                          
"No wonder you lost weight this past month!We're going to order everything tonight.Then you can go to bed."I scoffed."I'm bartending at the bar I work tonight."
                          
"You are underage!Which bar would take you as a bartender?!"She has a point,you know?
                          
We came to the campus and I talked with my teachers.I was ditching class today but I waited until Lux was done with her switched classes.
                          
I was in the cafeteria when Xander came over."Get up!""Uh...Why?"Then James came."She's under my protection,Griffin,piss off."
                          
"What's so special about her,Sullivan?""She belongs to me,that's why.FUCK OFF!"I stood up and walked away."We have a few things to talk about."Then Sorin got me out of there.
                          
"I shut my mouth last night but who the fuck do you think you are,locking me into my bedroom and my bathroom?!"I saw the gun in his blazer as he was dressed unusually formal.
                          
"Give me your best,Sorin.But you were at fault.You kissed me!Not the other way around.""I may have kissed you first but you kissed me back."
                          
"It was a mistake."
                          
"You're th emistake Raven Whitlock,not the kiss."
                          
I have never felt such a pain in my entire life and I have been through hell.It reminded me of my mother,my step mother and my father.
                          
They all thought I was a mistake.
                          
I am a mistake and no one can make me believe otherwise.
                          
"You're right.I am a mistakes.Mistakes have to be taken care of.How you take care of is your choice but you can just shoot me.Believe me,I am not afraid to die."
                          
Then I felt my eyes water after almost a decade."I need to go."I walked-No,I ran away from him and while I was going through the cafeteria,one of his rings got caught in my wigs and pulled it off.
                          
"Raven!"Phoenix yelled my name.I didn't look at him.I wasn't ashamed or scared.
                          
Instead,I took the net off my hair and my white hair fell over my body."Since all of you already thinks I am a freak or an abomination,why not make it worse?"
                          
I leaned down and took off my lenses to reveal my true colors.I got rid of the tears in the mean time and then straightened up.
                          
First eyes to meet mine were Sorin's.I winked at him."I may be silent but I have self-confidance,thank you."Lux walked into the cafeteria."Steven!Let's go."
                          
The whole cafeteria froze at the sight of me.Lux and I walked past eveeryone and went to our apartment."Finally!Everybody thinks I am a freak and I can relax."
                          
"What happened there?!""It's better than listening the rumors.I was sitting and waiting for you..."
                          
I told her about Sullivan and Xander coming at me at the same time.I didn't tell her that Sorin kissed me but I just told her that he cornered me.
                          
I told her that I had enough and walked away.I told her that Sorin got mad and when he tried to catch me,his ring got stuck in my wig.
                          
The rest was easy to tell with no lies as there was no need for it.
                          
"Holy avacados!"I nodded."So,that's pretty much it.I can finally get rid of the wig and lenses.The new will eventually reach to my boss."
                          
Then I felt this weight on my chest."I'm going to be back."I went to my room's bathroom and locked the door."What the hell?"
                          
The sight of his silver orbs wouldn't leave my mind!It got too much to deal with and I looked at myself in the mirror."I'm a mistake."I repeated it and repeated it.
                          
It used to calm me down but now,I started crying silently.
                          
My step mother was a latina and she used to speak Spanish to us.Thinking I didn't understand her,she enjoyed my suffering.I understood her and I learned Spanish thanks to her.
                          
I remember her saying something.
                          
We latinas suffer in silencio!
                          
I covered my mouth as I started sobbing silently.I even wailed at one point."Raven?"I opened the tub's water and took a deep breath."I'm going to take a bath."
                          
I took off my clothes and wore a simple white shirt to cover my body.The tub was filled and I got in the warm water.
                          
I've done this before.
                          
I push my body under the water forcefully so I can feel an ounce of fear.If not for anything,for death!
                          
I was about to get out of the tub,my vision was getting blurry and I didn't want to pass out in the water.Right after I came out and took a deep breath,Sorin pushed me back in.
                          
His arm around my throat,I stayed calm.I didn't fight against him.He was finally doing what he wanted.I thought...Maybe if I have no control over it,I'll be afraid.
                          
I still wasn't afraid.
                          
What the hell is wrong with me?!What kind of a mistake am I?!