6. she was watching.

                                    

                                          
song-
when the lord-Susanne sundfør 
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Olivia's POV
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April 9, 2017
"third times a charm," I said to nobody at all. Looking down at the beautiful lights. This is where I should have gone in the first place. Falling from a building seems so peaceful, so delicate as your hair flows through the wind, and then before you can even blink, you're gone.
Dangling my toes off the edge of the twenty-story building I look around. A smile pulls on my lips for the first time in a long time. It's so peaceful up here, the faint sounds of the traffic down below. Watching the cars speed down the road as the lights switch from amber to red, to green. It's oddly comforting up here like I was meant to end up here. I was meant to end here. This is the end. 
"Green means go," I whisper to myself, inching closer and closer until just my heels were planted on the surface of the roof. I take one last look at the lights and a billboard suddenly changed, her piercing blue eyes were there, they were watching. She was watching. I let out a shaky breath, I knew if I did this she would blame herself and I can't let her think it was her fault.
I fell back, landing harshly on the roof. Suddenly it didn't feel so calm and comforting, the air around me suffocated me as I sucked in oxygen through an imaginary straw. Why couldn't I breathe anymore?
"HEY! YOU CAN'T BE UP HERE," I heard a loud male's voice shout. Stumbling to my feet I jogged to the stairwell, my feet hitting each step harshly. I was going down but not the way I was supposed to. I escaped whoever was yelling, probably a security guard.
I didn't know where to go, I didn't want to go to my house. I don't have my phone on me and it's nearly midnight. I just walked my head down in defeat. I couldn't cry anymore, I had no tears left in my dry numb eyes.
I stared at my feet, the dirty white converse leading me to who knows where. I just let them go wherever they felt like. I stopped, looking up to see a tall white apartment building. This is where most of me broke into pieces and all my self-worth fell out the window. The things he did to me, just proved that I was useless. I am useless.
I shook my head, afraid for whoever is in that apartment with him right now. Is there another girl with him or was I really as special as he told me I was? Turning my head back down, looking at my shoes, I continued walking. Pulling the hood over my head, I didn't know where I was going and frankly, I didn't care. 
The sun began to rise when my achy feet stopped. Only then did I realize where I was and how long I had been walking. Why was I back here? She doesn't fucking care. 
"O-Olivia?" I heard a soft familiar voice call out my name. 
Maggie.
Do I run?
"Olivia, it's been years," she smiled, walking up to me. I shook my head, my body getting ready to bolt when she placed her hands on my shoulders. "Darling, what happened? are you alright?"