Faith

                                    

                                          
One hour before midnight...
                          
- They have been in there for two hours.... -
                          
- It's good, it means she's fighting to pull through. -
                          
Victoria has been holding Callie's hand ever since Sofia fell asleep on her lap. They are mostly sitting there in silence with Callie going through every single excruciating detail of the past few hours.
                          
After they brought Arizona back to the operating room, there was a lot of noise for another minute or two, but then the hallway went silent except for Sofia sobbing into Callie's chest.
                          
Explaining to her what had happened was one of the hardest things Callie has ever had to do. She tried hard not to cry but seeing her kid so heartbroken felt like her insides were being ripped out of her body. 
                          
- Is there something I can do for mommy? - Sofia asked.
                          
Callie shook her head in pain.
                          
- No, love. There's nothing you can do except pray. -
                          
- How do I do that, mama? -
                          
- Just talk to God. It doesn't matter how. He doesn't care how, He's there and He listens. But remember, Sofia, prayer is powerful, but it's no magic wand. Whatever happens, it's not God's fault. -
                          
All that talking about prayer made Callie think of April and all the other people who would want to know about Arizona, including her parents, but she knew she was in no state to make those phone calls. Paul offered to do it and, knowing how much those people care for Arizona, they are probably already on their way to New York.
                          
Around ten Arya, Callie's sister, called her. She hadn't heard from her in ages.
                          
- I'm so sorry, Cal. I heard from dad, Arizona's parents called him. I know we haven't talked or seen each other in a long time, but I couldn't let you go through that alone. -
                          
Callie wasn't able to say anything. She dragged herself into a closet, locked the door, threw her phone on the floor and started screaming.
                          
She was out of tears.
                          
She pulled on her hair and banged her head against the wall.
                          
Her phone lay abandoned on the floor and she could still hear Arya's voice coming from it. 
                          
- It's okay, Cal. We don't have to talk. I just want to be here for you. I'd come to New York right now if you asked me, but I figured you wouldn't want me. -
                          
She was right, she wouldn't.
                          
Because, given all their past divergences, she doubts Arya would come visit her unless something very bad happened.
                          
Having her here could only mean that the inevitable happened, that Arizona died and that Callie lost the one person she loves more than anything or anyone else in the world.
                          
And she isn't ready for it.


                          
Victoria suddenly talks, taking Callie back to the present.
                          
- I'm marrying Paul. I know this isn't the best time to tell you, but... I talked to Arizona earlier, when I went to your house, and she said so many beautiful things about you and your marriage and about how she could picture a life with you from the very beginning. That's how I felt with Paul. She helped me understand I want to marry him. Not right away, I want to finish my fellowship and settle down to my first real job, but I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I said yes as soon as I came back from visiting your wife. I thought you should know... -
                          
Callie's eyes fill with tears, which she apparently hasn't run out of yet, but she manages to say something nice anyway.
                          
- That's really beautiful. I was always rooting for you guys. -