BAD AT LOVE

                                    

                                          
CHAPTER-47
BAD AT LOVE
                          
Austin's breath fanned my face as he waited for me to answer. I still...still couldn't stomach what he just told me.
                          
Austin killed men. I couldn't even count how many. But he also killed them because they killed his family. They were the bad guys in his story. And he was the bad guy in mine.
                          
Everything was so messed up. Me...him...my feelings...his feelings, if he did feel anything.
                          
But as I stared at him, I suspected he did feel, but he simply didn't know how to put a name to the emotion. He had his own battles but here he was, on his knees, asking me to come back to him. 
                          
The man I was in love with was asking me to choose him.
                          
"Is it because of him?" He whispered. 
                          
Ethan.
                          
No, it wasn't because of him. It'd never be because of him. But it was because of me. I didn't...didn't want to be hurt again. He was saying now that he wanted me, he'd always want me, but how could I believe him?
                          
I wanted to believe him but...but how? What if one day he decided to leave me when his obsession came to an end? What then? Where'd I go? What about my baby? Would Austin leave him too?
                          
"No," I finally answered him. "No, it's not because of Ethan."
                          
Austin took a breath of relief. "Then why—"
                          
"I love you," I blurted and I swear to God Austin stilled and all the color drained from his face. He paled as he watched me like he had seen a ghost. 
                          
"I love you, Austin," I repeated, ignoring his reaction, "And that's why I'm scared. I'm scared that if you'll leave me one day then what will I do? Where would I go?" I whispered. 
                          
"Eva, I would never —"
                          
"Do you love me?" I was so scared of what he'd say that my question was so quiet that I couldn't hear it properly. 
                          
But he did.
                          
And he stiffened. 
                          
And then he gulped audibly. 
                          
"I don't know what love is, Eva," he whispered as well, his eyes not meeting mine, "It's one of the emotions that I've only heard of, but I don't..." He trailed off.
                          
He didn't know if he loved me or not. I didn't understand myself that why I even asked him that? Would things have changed if he had said yes? Maybe. But now that he didn’t even...
                          
"I understand..." I nodded and started pulling away from him but his grip tightened so that I couldn't escape.
                          
Austin's nose carressed my own as he said, his voice soft. "I might not know what love is, Eva, but that doesn't mean I don't feel anything for you. I'd do anything for you, for our baby," his palm splayed on my belly, "if you want something, name it, I'll bring it down at your feet. I'm here as much or as little as you want me. I'm yours as much or as little as you want me. Just say that I'm the only man for you. Take me back."
                          
And then the door banged open.
                          
I jumped away from Austin but he stayed like that.