6| Study Session

                                    

                                          
   I don't know where I am. All I can see and feel is darkness. It's so heavy that it feels like my lungs will be crushed under all the weight. Like I'm drowning, and my lungs are full of water, causing me to sink deeper and deeper. 
                          
   Suddenly a bright light appears to my right, and I get sucked into it. 
                          
   When I open my eyes, I look down to find myself in my old black and yellow volleyball shoes, black socks that almost go all the way up to my spandex. I examine my shirt to find a gold number 16 on it. 
                          
   Lifting my head, I'm met with a large volleyball net. It's dark, and I can't see further than three feet in front of me.
                          
   That bright light returns, this time shining from behind me. I turn around, being met with a short girl clenching onto her knee, a spotlight shining down on her. 
                          
   My body freezes, heart racing out of control. 
                          
   I approach the girl, placing my hand on her shoulder. But as I'm about to make contact, she disappears, and the room changes. 
                          
   Now everything is a blinding white color. Turning around out of instinct, I see N/n. Her knee's bruised and bleeding, but her face is blank.  
                          
   My breath gets sucked from my lungs, seeing her in such an awful state. 
                          
   "It's all you're fault," She says through lifeless and baggy eyes. 
                          
   A tear rolls down my cheek, hitting my arm. As it does, a cut appears, and the salty water turns into blood. 
                          
   "You're the reason my life is miserable." 
                          
   I try to choke out words, but there's no sound. My throat's dry, and it feels as though my chest is about to burst. 
                          
   "I hate you."
                          
   I hate me too, N/n.
                          
   "I wish I never met you." 
                          
   Then she disappears into thin air, and my surroundings change once more. I'm in a dark closet, a sharp, bloodstained shard of glass to my left. 
                          
   I look up to see my reflection. My purple orbs are bloodshot, and open cuts trace almost every inch of my body, ranging from my wrists all the way down to my thighs. My face is pale, almost lifeless. Then my reflection opens its mouth. 
                          
   "You deserve this." 
                          
   I know. 
                          
   "You should have never been born." 
                          
   I know! 
                          
   "You ruin everything." 
                          
   Stop! I get it already! Just leave me alone! 
                          
   "You should've died along with our parents that day." 
                          
   Shut up!!!
                          


                          
   I shoot up from my bed, panting and sweating like I just ran a marathon. When I do this, I hit my head extremely hard on the sealing. 
                          
   "Ow!" I whisper harshly, rubbing my head with my hand. 
                          
   It was only a dream. 
                          
   I glance over to find Hanako sleeping like a baby, taking a sigh of relief. That would've been unpleasant to explain. 
                          
   Flopping back down on my bed, I gaze up at the bland sealing. Why do I keep having these dreams? Maybe I deserve it. Because of me, she'll never be able to play volleyball again. So I'll never get a peaceful night's sleep again. Seems fair.