Chapter 5

                                    

                                          
Jessie's POV
                          
The bell rings signalling lunch is over and I stand up. Dani and I hug tightly before I walk back into school and go to my next class. I chose gym as an option because I love doing activities and working out unlike a lot of people. 
                          
I walk into the main gym and realize everyone is changed except me. I walk up to my new teacher Mr.Wright and introduce myself. He only nods as he does some paperwork. How friendly...
                          
"Jessie?" I hear a somewhat familiar voice say. I turn around to see Jade. 
                          
"Hi!" I smile and she smiles back. 
                          
"Mr.Wright can Jessie get a gym lock and locker?" Jade asks and he nods, handing over a lock and number. Jade walks down the hallway and I follow her to where the changeroom is. Finding my new tiny locker, I place the lock on it and hope to remember this combination too. 
                          
"Want to borrow gym clothes today?" she asks and throws me a blue shirt and black athletic shorts.
                          
"Thanks," I say as I quickly change, turning around when I change my shorts. I don't want her to see my scars. 
                          
We walk back to gym where everyone is playing volleyball, one of my favorite sports. Jade and I join a team and I really have fun. 
                          
Two hours and one more class goes by and then the day is over. I grab my things and head out the door with Jade, I think I actually made a friend today. 
                          
"So is one of the Cimorellis picking you up?" she asks and I feel a pang of loneliness and homesickness. 
                          
"I wish. My parents forced me to move back in with them so I have to walk home," I say and I wipe my eye quickly. She looks at me with a sad expression. 
                          
"Things were better with them huh?" she asks and I nod. 
                          
"Life finally started looking up when I was with them. Now... I don't know," I tell her. I talk to her for a while until I realize I was supposed to be home half an hour ago. Just then I hear my dad's voice and am mixed with fear and embarassment. 
                          
"JESSIE WHY AREN'T YOU HOME?!" my dad's loud voice boom and I feel my cheeks burn red. Jade looks at me with wide eyes.
                          
"I have to go, I'll see you tomorrow," I whisper and run to my dad. He grabs my arm and pulls me to the car. I know people are staring. 
                          
"Why did you do that?" I confront my dad when we're both in the car, "Can't I have friends?" 
                          
"If you think people would actually like being around you then you are definitely living in a fantasy," he laughs and I try not to cry. How could he say that?
                          
I stay in silence until I get to my room which is when I break down in tears. I'm so sick of this. I know my promise but I can't keep it anymore. Nothing's changed at home, dad is horrible, mom doesn't care, I'm locked in my room, I can't see my real family, and now people at school who knows what rumors have started. I can't take all this. 
                          
I open my hidden drawer and go into the bathroom. I cut several times over my scars and I feel better for a few minutes. Then I realize one of them is bleeding pretty bad and I try to stop it with water but it won't do anything. I start to panic that it won't stop bleeding so I grab my phone and without thinking, text Christina. 
                          
J: I need help
                          
C: What's wrong?
                          
Suddenly I realize I can't tell her this. I can't disappoint her and I really don't want her to worry either. 
                          
J: Oh nothing, nvm. Sorry
                          
I finally manage to stop the bleeding with a washcloth and then I put a bandage over them. I hide my blade again and go back to my phone. 
                          
C: Are you sure? Do you need anything or want to talk?
                          
J: I'm fine Chrissy, I need to do homework now so I'll ttyl
                          
I know Christina's not going to buy that even though it is true. I do need to do homework although that's of course not why I stopped texting. I just can't tell her what I did. I've already let myself down... I can't let her down too. 
                          
Around 11 I finally finish my homework and next thing I know my alarm is beeping. I turn it off and groan as I feel my neck hurt when I move it. I fell asleep on my chemistry textbook, great. 
                          
I get up, do my normal shower and getting ready routine and put on ripped jeans and a pink tank top with white converse. My mom escorts me to the door once more and I prepare myself for yet another boring day. I do tell myself anything is better than being locked in my room though. 
                          
After my morning classes, I find Jade and we sit down outside at a table. 
                          
"Are you okay? Your dad seemed pretty angry yesterday," Jade remarks and I fake a smile.
                          
"Yeah it's all good now," I tell her and she nods. 
                          
"So um I just wanted to say that if you think I'm just being friends with you because you're kinda famous, I swear I'm not," Jade blurts out and I laugh a little.
                          
"Don't worry, I don't mind that you love my sisters. I can tell you're not fake like those girls," I motion towards a group of girls sitting at the table next to us. Jade laughs in agreement. 
                          
"True!" she says and we continue talking while we eat. When the bell rings I realize I don't want to go to class. I enjoy having a friend, Jade really does seem like a genuine person.
                          
After school I go straight home, wanting to avoid what happened yesterday. As I walk in the door I can instantly feel that something is wrong. I hear my mom's cries and I run into the kitchen and quickly stop when I see what's going on. 
                          
Beer cans and bottles on the kitchen table and my dad is punching my mom. I can see the fear in my mom's eyes and although I don't like her, she still doesn't deserve this.
                          
"STOP IT YOU'RE HURTING HER!" I yell and try to pull my dad off of her. My mom shakes her head trying to tell me to leave but I refuse to let him do this. Dad spins around and punches me in the jaw. 
                          
"Fuck," I mutter in huge pain. His eyes seem so empty, so emotionless and it's terrifying. He punches me once more in the arm. 
                          
"Stop you're hurting me!" I protest. 
                          
"I don't care," he yells and punches me yet again. I hold back my tears. 
                          
"This is what you get for being worthless," he tells me before I run to my room and slam the door.