19. Making Every Moment Count

                                    

                                          
16/04/21-17/04/21


"Are you moving here?" Moonsik innocently asks me a couple minutes after we shared an embrace and he sat to the left of me, on the couch.
"Buddy, I unfortunately still have to go back to Seoul because that's where I live and the location of my work company. But, I'll do my best to come visit as often. And, when your mom starts to feel comfortable about the idea of you traveling, I'd love for you to come visit me in South Korea." I smile down at him, meaning every plan I pitch to him.
"Really?" He asks in a soft voice, with wonder in his eyes, looking at me. It's as if he's envisioning visiting me in his mind.
"I mean it. I know I won't be here everyday, but I'll still be your dad wherever I am and I'm always a phone call or video chat away. Okay, Kiddo?"
"Okay," he says, still with a meek tone.
"I know it's a lot to find out that I'm your dad, but please know that I'm going to try to be a good father to you," I say out loud, my voice cracking from the emotion those words made me feel right at that moment.
"Okay," Moonsik answers with a gentle nod. "Can I call you Dad or Appa?"
"Yes! I mean, that is if you're comfortable calling me Dad or Appa. I'd love that. But, if you want to keep calling me Namjoon, I will totally be okay with that, too." I give him a sincere smile letting him know that whatever name he chooses is fine by me.
He nods at me, looking like he's deep in thought about what he wants to call me.
"Hey, are you all hungry?" Sooyoung asks everyone in the room.
"Yes, Mommy," Moonsik replies to her as he jumps off the couch. Sooyoung stands and grabs hold of Moonsik's hand and they walk to the dining room with Kyungmin and I following behind. 
Kyungmin and I had picked up some Italian food, since I've learned about Moonsik's love for pasta.
Kyungmin sits at the head of the table. I take a seat on one side, opposite from where Sooyoung is sitting. Moonsik is already sitting to her left. 
"Mom, can I sit next to Dad?" Moonsik asks in a timid voice.
Hearing my son address me as 'Dad' was something I didn't expect would make my heart feel so full. But, at this moment, it felt amazing to hear.
Just a couple months ago. I was a single man. No little family of my own. And, now, Sooyoung, who I've never stopped loving, is back in my life. And, this young boy who is calling me 'Dad' is bringing up these new feelings, in me, I've never felt, and I am the most content I've ever been. I didn't think I could feel this way. 
"Of course you can, sweetie," Sooyoung answers him while placing a hand on his head and ruffling his hair. 
My son gets out of the chair he's currently sitting on and heads over to sit on the vacant chair next to me. Sooyoung hands me Moonsik's plate, and I place it in from of him. 
I start to grab carbonara pasta out of the giant tin in the center of the table and start placing some on his plate.
"Let me know how much you want," I tell my son.