180

                                    

                                          
It was the next morning and I was outside carrying Liam around since Judith was with Michonne and Gracie was still sleeping. I had to go to Siddiq so he can have a look at the bullet wound which isn't healing the way it should. I opened the door with my free hand and walked inside.
                          
"Hey Siddiq, I came for my checkup." I said.
                          
"Hey Maddie, come and sit down right here." He said, smiling at Liam. I sat down and Liam started babbling at Siddiq like he was telling him not to hurt me. "I'm not going to hurt your mother little guy, I'm helping her." He said, grabbing Liams hand. Liam then giggled. He removed the square bandage and looked at both sides since there was an exit hole.
                          
"How does it look? Is it getting better?" I asked, hoping it's getting better.
                          
"It looks like it is but continue coming here so I can keep an eye on it because the last thing we want is an infection." He said.
                          
"Okay. I'll follow the doctors orders." I said.
                          
"You better or I'll come after you." He said, jokingly.
                          
"Oh no, you hear that Liam. He's going to chase your mommy." I said, chuckling. "I'll see you later Siddiq." I said, getting off the exam table.
                          
"Okay see you later." He said. I walked out and looked up to see Rick reading Carl's letter. I walked inside and went to change Liams diaper since he was getting a bit stinky. Once his diaper was changed, I put him in his crib for his nap and walked out after kissing his forehead. I walked back outside and walked to a tent and I saw Alden doing what he was doing the day before.
                          
A few minutes later, Rick came down towards me. He put his hand on my shoulder and I looked at him, smiling. He pecked my lips before speaking.
                          
"How's your wound doing?" He asked.
                          
"Siddiq said that there is a bit of an infection and it's still a bit swollen but as long as I take the antibiotics and see him everyday, it should heal the way it should." I told him. "But I'll be fine. The bandage shows that no matter what happens I'll always get through it." I said.
                          
"That's true. You've been through a lot." He said, smiling. He saw Alden looking at me and I can tell Rick got jealous. He cupped my cheeks and kissed me passionately then pulled away.
                          
"What was that for?" I asked.
                          
"Showing everyone that you're mine." He said.
                          
"You're jealous Rick." I said, laughing. "But I am yours, you made that pretty clear." I added. I walked away and secretly took a walkie and Carl's letter to Negan. I figured Negan should hear what Carl wrote to him. I went somewhere away from everyone else and spoke into the walkie. "Negan, it's Maddie." I said, waiting for him to respond.
                          
"Oh Maddie the one who's married to Rick. Is Rick there with you? I want you to put him on." Negan said.
                          
"This isn't about Rick, it's about Carl." I said. "He wrote you a letter and I'm telling you what he says because that's what he wanted." I said.
                          
"Well, I can promise not to kill the messenger." Negan said.
                          
"Just shut up and listen." I said. I opened the letter and began reading it. "Negan this is Carl. I was helping someone, I got bit. We didn't even have to be doing what we've been doing. I was just helping someone and now I'm gone. You might be gone. Maybe my dad made your people give up and he killed you. But I don't think so. I think you're still around and you're working on a way out. Maybe you got out. Maybe you think we're a lost cause and you just want to kill all of us. I think you think you have to be who you are. I just wonder if this is what you wanted. I wanted to ask you. I wish I could have. Maybe you'll beat us and if you do, there'll just be someone else to fight. The way out is working together. It's forgiveness. It's believing that it doesn't have to be a fight anymore. Because it doesn't. I hope my dad offers you peace. I hope you take it. I hope everything can change. It did for me. Start over. You still can. Carl." I finished reading it. Negan was quiet for a little before he spoke.
                          
"All this, there is no getting out of it now. I wouldn't accept your surrender if you came to me on your knees. See winning isn't about beating you, winning is about killing every last one of you. That is starting over. I never wanted this, Rick made this happen. You tell him that, no more talk." Negan said. I had a feeling he would say something like that. But he might be right, it could be too late to surrender.
                          
I walked back to the house and put Negans letter back in the drawer and put the walkie on the dresser. Liams crib was now in our room because he was continuously crying and it was waking Judith and Gracie up. I walked to the crib and put my hand in and Liam started playing with my fingers. I heard someone walk into the room and I looked into the mirror and saw Rick coming to us. I saw Siddiq walk into the room and Rick is still kinda cold to him because of what happened.
                          
"I saw he was awake." Siddiq said, holding up a bottle. He walked over when Rick away. I sat on the bed and watched Siddiq start to feed Liam. Liam can eat solid food but he wants the milk most of the time.
                          
"How did it happen?" Rick asked him. Siddiq told me not to tell him because he wanted to tell him. "Please tell me how it happened." Rick said.
                          
"My mothers dead, she was bitten. I had to watch her die. Not long ago, she believed people there, your souls are trapped in the bodies of the monsters. That killing the dead, let's the living move on to an afterlife. Carl was taking me back to your community and I told him what my mother believed and we saw a few of the dead. He wanted to honor her, he was trying to show me that I could trust him. That's how it happened. He died paying respects to a woman he never knew. I don't believe what my mother believed, a doctor or resident. I don't know if we have souls. But I was out there a long time and in the end all I had left was what my mother had given me. This idea, the kind of goodness to frame my life with and it did keep me going whether it was true or if I was just doing it for my mother. But it was dangerous. It was dangerous and I didn't think about that, I should have. All that's left of the people we lose, what was theirs, their ideas." Siddiq said.
                          
We stayed silent for a little bit before Rick started to walk out.
                          
"Thank you." Rick said, once he was out of the room. I stood up from the bed and walked to Siddiq.
                          
"Why didn't you tell him I was there?" I asked.
                          
"I figured he shouldn't know that his wife was out there and could've gotten killed too." He said.
                          
"Okay but thank you for telling him. He needed to know." I said, hugging him. He hugged me back then we went to do what we were going to do.