Chapter 15 - Confessions

                                    

                                          

Regulus was leaned against the tree where we had first met, smoking a cigarette. I walked up to him, my stomach filled with nervous butterflies. I should back out, this won't work. I couldn't back out. Not again. 
"How was the date?" He looked up when he saw me. He sounded like he was trying very hard not to sound... Jealous? Whatever he was trying to cover up, he wasn't doing a good job. 
"It was so so bad I don't think I've ever been so bored in my life! James had to rescue me saying the family dog had died, we don't even have a dog." I chuckled. We were standing close now and I hadn't even realized it. He took the finished cigarette from his lips and dropped it to the floor, snuffing it out with his shoe. He seemed to look amused as he looked down at me, his blue eyes looking into my e/c ones. 
"Lockheart was never going to be good anyway." Reg shrugged with a little smirk. He had his arms around my waist and I only realised when I felt his hands resting on my lower back. 
"Oh of course not. He's nothing like you." I realized what I said and I would feel the colour rising to my cheeks. 
He smirked and raised an eyebrow "How so darling?" He grinned. 
"He's boring and I spent the whole time trying not to look too disgusted. I only went out with him because... well because it's you I want. I think you know that. And I tried to forget and it didn't work and I realised that I'd rather be with you in secret than not at all." It all came out like word vomit, I was hearing myself speak and I couldn't believe that those words were really leaving my lips. "I want you Reg and there's no point pretending I don't anymore." I said quietly and looked up at him nervously. 
Reg smiled, the most genuine smile I had ever seen, and kissed my forehead. His smile was so bright and even more special because of how rare it was. "That's all I've wanted, for a while now actually." He leaned down to kiss me, it was soft and loving. I felt his lips smile against mine and I couldn't help but smile too "You're mine." He told me cupping my face in one of his hands. I could feel his cold silver rings on my face. 
I smiled and kissed him again, it felt brilliant knowing he felt the same. Regulus Black, my boyfriend. However secretive we had to be about it, however much we had to hide, I didn't care. We were together.
He kissed me deeply and we eventually pulled away. It was perfectly innocent, unlike at the party. Pure joy and that was all. "None of your friends can know about this okay? No one in the school. A secret can only be kept between two people." He took my hands and played with them.
"I promise." I nodded and he smiled down at me. I figured everything good was worth a risk. If I had to keep this from my friends then fine. 
"I know it isn't ideal but when things cool over it will be alright." He told me and I ignored the fact that it wouldn't just cool over, it was war. It was a war and we were on opposite sides but that didn't matter right now I was with him and that's all that mattered to me. "I'm sorry it has to be this way." He said gently placing a kiss on my hand looking into my eyes. 
"Don't be sorry." I smiled and shook my head. "You can't help it."
.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.
We stayed there for a few hours with each other until it was dark, he was sat up against the tree and I sat on his lap. We would talk about the most random things just enjoying each other's company, that or kissing, until it was dark and it was time to head back to the castle. I could spend forever listening to his voice, he made hours feel like a few minutes. 
He walked back with me as it was dark the chances of us being seen together was low, he held my hand and when it was time to go our separate ways he pulled me in for another quick kiss. "I'll see you." He told me with a smile and walked to the Slytherin common room. 
"Bye." I smiled and walked up the stairs to my own common room. I wanted to scream with pure joy but of course I couldn't. Not even Marlene and Lily could know this and especially not Sirius. 
"Y/n where have you been?" James smiled when he saw me. 
I sat down on a sofa next to Marlene who gave me a friendly cuddle "Oh just out and about." I shrugged. Sirius and Remus raised their eye brows but I ignored it. I didn't need an explanation for every little thing I did just because I basically had 4 protective brothers.
"Were you with anyone?" Peter asked curiously. 
"No, sometimes you need to be alone you know?" I put my head on Marlene's shoulder and smiled softly thinking of Regulus. His hands in my hair, his lips, that damn smirk-
"Oh she's a lovesick puppy." Lily grinned playfully and I threw a pillow at her. "I know that look."
"Just like her brother." Sirius laughed and Lily scrunched her nose up at the thought however I noticed a small blush on her cheeks as she smiled softly looking down at the floor. I couldn't help but laugh too. They weren't wrong. 
.・✫・゜・。..・✫・゜・。.
Regulus Black 
As soon as I walked away from Y/n, I had that heavy feeling in my chest again. That feeling she was so good at lifting away. Did she even know how much I enjoyed being with her? I had spent so long trying to deny I liked her, she was a Potter. It wasn't right. Oh but it was. 
If my family ever found out they'd probably punish me like they did Sirius. They were my family, that was where my loyalties had to lie but sometimes I wished I wasn't born a Black, more and more these past weeks. 
Not that I could admit it to anyone. 
Secretly, I admired Sirius. He was so brave, why couldn't I be more like him? The punishments would most likely be harsher on me as I was the only Black heir now, their last hope of the pure bloodline. I didn't choose this fate, it seemed it had chosen me. 
With y/n I could forget that, I could forget everything. Everyone always compared me to Sirius, 'Sirius's younger brother.' Etc. I didn't have that with her, to her I was just Reg. Or sometimes Edgy Reggie. If anyone but her called me that I'd hex them but when y/n did it it was okay. It was a worry of mine that she would become unsatisfied with such secrecy, despite her reassurance. I wanted to give her the world. 
I sat on the one of the black leather sofas in the common room and opened up a book about Dragons, fascinating beasts. Unfortunately, I was unable to focus on the pages before my eyes because irritation was walking towards me. 
"Reggie where have you been?" Diana Redwood sat herself down next to me, far too close for my liking. She was in my year and a Slytherin too. Pure blood too as it goes. She had long dark hair and brown eyes, everyone said she made her voice more high pitched because she thought it made her cute. She also pretended to be a lot more stupid than she actually was so she could ask me for help in class. I couldn't stand her. 
"Reading. Or trying to." I responded dryly and resisted the urge to give her a kick as she shuffled up, resting her leg against mine. I gave her short answers hoping she would take the hint and piss off.
"I missed you! You never see me as much anymore." When did I ever hang out with her anyway? If anything it's been harder for her to find me when I've been with y/n. I could respect her commitment to her delusions but she had practically followed me around all last year, it was getting silly now. 
"Yes well you know how life gets awfully busy. Goodnight." And with that, I shut my dorm door right in her face. Maybe it was rude. I didn't care, I wanted shot of her. It would be so much easier if everyone knew I was with y/n but then it wouldn't be. Keeping it all a secret wasn't the best but at least I had her, even in stolen moments that felt illegal. She was mine. That was enough for me.