I merely love my mighty pen.
I merely love it to the point that I'll gonna cry.
If It'll missing.
I merely love it.
Because this is the head.
Of every feeling that I felt.
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"Brie."-Napalunok ako ng makita ko siya at tinawag niya ako. Aalis na sana ako kaso mabilis niyang nahawakan 'yung braso ko kaya napapikit at napabuntong hininga nalang ako tsaka ko siya nilingon. Isang plastik na ngiti ang ginawad ko sakanya.
"Ouhh Chad. Ikaw pala." -tumawa pa ako ng peke para halatang gulat na gulat ako.
"Iniiwasan mo ba ako?" -napalunok ulit ako tsaka tumingin sa kung saan-saan pero pilit niya akong pinapatingin sakanya. Kumurap kurap ako tsaka umiling.
"Wee? Eh bakit di ka makatingin sa'kin." -nag pout siya kaya mas lalong bumilis 'yung tibok ng puso ko.
Di ako nakasagot sakanya. Tinitigan ko lang siya hanggang sa mapatingin ako sa labi niyang naka awang na ngayon. Napansin niya 'yun kaya tumingin rin siya sa labi ko tsaka sa mata ko.
"I missed you." -Kumurap-kurap ulit ako tsaka tinalikuran siya at akma na sanang aalis pero may sinabi pa siya dahilan upang mas naging triple pa ang pag lakas ng tibok ng puso ko.
"Mahal kita, Brie. Huwag mo naman akong iwasan." -may bahid ng pagmamakaawa sa boses niya kaya tumingin ako sakanya at umiling.
"Hindi pwede Chad. Bata pa tayo kaya posibleng mahal mo ako."
"Mahal kita, Brie. Tuwing nandyan ka lagi nalang tumitibok puso ko. At alam kong ganon rin 'yung sayo."-lumapit siya sa'kin pero umatras ako kaya nagbuntong hininga nalang siya.
"Lagi ring bumibilis 'yung tumitibok ng puso ko kapag nandyan ka pero hindi 'to pagmamahal Chad. Bata pa ako. Bata pa tayo at tsaka mag kaibigan."-umiling-iling ako tsaka agad na tumakbo.
MAPAIT akong ngumiti habang tinatanaw 'yung kaibigan ko na halatang kinakabahan habang ibinibigay 'yung bulaklak niya sa nililigawan niya.
It's been a year since he confessed to me. And I guess I was right. That he didn't love me. That he was just infatuated. And it's been a year since I already realize what I felt for him. I'm in love with him since back then. But I just can't accept the fact. That's why right now. I just can't stop my heart to feel the pain that I'm feeling while witnessing their true starting love story.
"Can you be my girlfriend?" -he asked. The girl nodded kaya agad siyang napatalon at napa sigaw ng YES sabay yakap sakanya.
Ngayon, sa papel ko nalang masusulat lahat ng nararamdaman ko. Ang ballpen ko nalang ang makakapag sabi sa lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. Dahil ngayon.I already lose him. I already lose my chance. Our possible chance to be together. Because I didn't trust my heart beat. I already lose him and it's all because I let my fear to be bigger that my faith.
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I was just 16 years old.
When I already felt a weird feeling.
I was thinking that I was crazy.
Not accepting what my heart beat tell.
But now that I'm 17.
I already know what it is.
And this is love.
My mind is wrong.
I was just 16 years old.
When I already felt how to love.
But, I wasn't have any idea that it was what other call it.
Love!
Or maybe I really knew way back then but, I always deny it.
And now that I am 17.
Now that he's already gone.
I can now accept the fact.
The fact that my young heart is already in love.
And up until now I still have this feeling.
And this is always for him.
To the man I lose.
To the man I thought was nothing to me.
A man that I can flirt whenever I want to.
Most especially when I'm bored.
A man I thought just a toy.
A toy that I can always play whenever I'll like it.
I was just 16 years old.
When I already fall in love so hard.
Quickly but hardly deeper.
And I am now 17 years old.
When I already can accept the fact.
That whatever I do.
I can't really change
the fact that I am already in love.
A/N
Don't let your fear be bigger than your faith. Always remember that not because you're not sure 'bout your feelings. You'll just run and ignore that man/woman. Confess what you really felt. Tell them the truth that you're confuse and you're not sure. Be true to yourself and what you felt. I know it's hard to accept what we really felt but don't just ignore it so in the future we don't have any regrets.
