Four

                                    

                                          
A/N: Thoughts on Eva and Charley so far? 
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"Okay so," Eva takes a deep breath, "I told you about my wife, Lydia? But I didn't tell you how she died, right?" 
                          
"Yeah." 
                          
She leans against the back of the couch and her eyes glaze over; it's like the whole world falls down around her instantly. "She killed herself. Never even left a note." 
                          
A quiet gasp escapes me but I doubt she hears me. 
                          
"I thought we were happy in the two years of our married life. I mean, sure, everyone has their ups and downs in a marriage but I thought she was happy. She had some anxiety problems sometimes but her professional diagnosis didn't show any disorder." Her voice breaks but she composes herself. "Besides all that, after her death, I was just learning to cope with my utter failure as a spouse-I mean how could I not see that she was planning to fucking slit her own wrists?" 
                          
I put a hand on her shoulder but she shrugs it off. Never has Eva ever turned away from someone's touch. Which means she's completely lost right now. 
                          
Belatedly, I notice that her drunk stupor seems to have worn off. 
                          
"Anyway, as I said, I was trying to come to terms with it: through therapy, yoga, partying, work-" 
                          
"Drinking." 
                          
"-occasionally drinking, yes." 
                          
She falls quiet. 
                          
I try again to touch her shoulder swearing to myself that I won't do it again if she turns away this time. She doesn't though. In fact, she grabs my hand with both of hers and cradles it carefully. 
                          
"So what happened today?" 
                          
She puts both of our hands in her lap and speaks very quietly. "I had left all her things like they were, completely untouched, save from vacuuming. But today," she takes a deep breath, "today I was coming to see you." 
                          
The shock of the words registers through me way after they touch the air, and by then she is continuing. "I thought, I thought I was moving on. And something about that thought gripped me and I started to go through her closet to feel closer to her and found-" She pauses. "Found male accessories strewn all over. Now I know there's nothing strictly male about any accessory but I knew-I know Lydia's tastes. She always liked some particular things on her male partners. Even her exes can testify. And those were all her preferences. A belt, a pair of shoes, pants and God knows what. After that discovery, I just hit the club with no care whatsoever."
                          
She goes completely silent after this. 
                          
"So you think she, uh, was having an affair."
                          
"Yes." A tear, like crystal, escapes onto her cheek. 
                          
I draw my hand out of hers and put both of my arms around her. 
                          
"I thought-" Eva's voice completely breaks. "I thought we were happy."
                          
"Shh, shh, it's not your fault." 
                          
"Of course it is," she bursts out. "She wasn't happy with me and she found a boytoy. And when that son of a bitch broke her heart, she killed herself! It's all on me!" 
                          
Even the rage of this woman is beautiful. She's bursting out of every seam. 
                          
"No, no, shh, it's not." I cradle her head against mine, just wanting to make it right whatever way I can. "You didn't know, Eva. You're not a bad person. It's not your fault." 
                          
"You're right." She breaks free of my embrace. "It's that douche's fault too. I'm going to find and kill that asshole." 
                          
"Eva, Eva, calm down. You don't know if that's what happened." 
                          
"Yes, but-" 
                          
I stare right into the moon like silver of her eyes. "There could've been any other reason, but yes, this guy can help you figure it out. Once you're sober, you can work on finding him. It's not your fault and we're gonna find whose it is, I promise." 
                          
Eva stares at me, completely silent for a minute. She breaks away from our hug but remains close enough so that I can see her dilated pupils. After a few beats, she speaks," You were right. I felt untethered when I came here. But now I feel the opposite. How do you do that?" 
                          
I don't have time to figure out if it's a rhetorical question because she mashes her lips with mine just then. 
                          
For a second I'm shocked but then I start to unfold beneath her and now I'm returning the pressure of her tongue against mine. Her hands find a way on to my waist while my fingers glide over her silky skin to tangle in her sun-colored hair. 
                          
Just as I'm starting to fall apart, she suddenly breaks free and hiccups loudly. 
                          
I stare at her, not comprehending, before I remember how drunk she is. I laugh loudly and stand up. "Well, turns out, kissing me makes you want to puke." 
                          
She gives me a small smile. "It's just all the drinks I've had." 
                          
I offer her a hand. "I know. Continue tomorrow?" 
                          
She takes my hand and stands up. "Really?" 
                          
"Yeah. Now let's get you to bed." 
                          
I support her enough to let her stand, go to my room, and flop down on my bed. I tuck the blankets to cover her completely before asking, "Okay just one more thing." 
                          
"Mm-hmm?" 
                          
"Were you looking for a place to crash or for me after getting hammered?" 
                          
"I was looking for someone I could trust and who would support me. Couldn't think of anyone else." 
                          
How can she be so beautifully eloquent while being drunk? 
                          
Her eyelids are drooping but she says, "Charley, will you come to my place to search through Lydia's stuff for any lead on the guy? I don't want to do that alone." 
                          
Gone is the woman who's not afraid of anything. At least for a night. The vulnerable Eva is even more ethereal, and I didn't think that was possible. 
                          
"Sure Eva, I will." 
                          
I stand up from the bed and just as I'm turning back, she grabs my wrist. I look around to her and now her eyes are shut completely. "Keep my bad dreams away, Charley Duck." 
                          
I smooth the frown on her face with the pads of my fingers and whisper back, "I promise I will." 
                          
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A/N: Soooo, there you have it. The meaning of the story title. 
                          
To be completely honest, it's only been 4 chapters and I already don't like the story very much, but I'll do my best to continue it.
                          
Hope YOU like it though XD. Comment your opinions.
                          
Love,
Ray.