25

                                    

                                          
Abel
                          
This is the last fucking thing I need tonight.
                          
As much as I want her here, it's too dangerous.
                          
I've been battling my mind over her all day and now I'm just in a vulnerable state after drinking the way I had with Stephen.
                          
Just tell her to go, Abel. That's it.
                          
Do what you should've done the very first time she came to your door. Send her away.
                          
I run my shaky, clammy hands down my slacks and fill my chest with air. But as soon as my foot makes contact with the cobblestone, I tilt my head, realizing it's not Ari at all.
                          
"Shyla?" My brows droop as she comes quick down the steps. "What are you-" I seal my lips as soon as her arms wrap around me, her body flush to mine and her head in its old spot over my chest.
                          
I don't move out of shock. I can't. But only for a second. Only a second long enough to remember I'm supposed hug her back.
                          
Right?
                          
I mean this moment is what I've wanted to happen for months. I imagined it every night before I shut my eyes. Every morning as I nuked a toaster strudel in my boxers.
                          
But I haven't imagined it in a while, and now that it's happening I can't decide if it's what I really want anymore. 
                          
"Abel...I've missed you so much."
                          
My eyes widen as her arms seem to tighten around me when I really want the opposite right about now.
                          
Is this really happening?
                          
"Um, yeah Shy..." I gently peel back and look down at he tear stricken face. "What's going on? What are you doing here?"
                          
She frowns like I've just spat in her direction. "I just wanted to see you. I've been wanting to see you, I waited here all day...probably should have called first, huh?"
                          
Or answered my text from months back.
                          
"I was working...and then, went out with a coworker."
                          
"A coworker?" She nods, eying me over with suspicion.
                          
Nostalgia zaps me like a lightening bolt over the face she makes, even though it looks a shade off with red, teary eyes.
                          
It's so weird to be standing here. Dimly lit by my porch lights, still just a little buzzed from earlier despite all the water I chugged before I left. Looking at her again after months of relying on old photos just to keep her face fresh in my mind.
                          
She doesn't even look the same.
                          
Her hair is darker, shorter. She's slimmer now. Not as tan and looking at me in a way I'm not used to.
                          
Almost hopeful. Almost...interested in what's to come out of my mouth next.
                          
The last year we were together we'd walk around each other like the other didn't exist. Two souls inhabiting the same space. Not sharing it together. Not caring about each others day, eating the same meal, or even watching the same television show before bed.
                          
The only thing we shared was the mattress, and now she's looking at me like she's the girl I first met and not the one who left me at a time I needed her most.
                          
"You wanna...come in?"
                          
"Yes." A sullen smile begins on her face, but I turn my back to her before I can allow it to make me lose my memory.
                          
I can't ever forget the great times, that's for sure. But the bad? The months waiting for her to come back to me? I'll never forget that.
                          
"Wow, you really changed things here."