Chapter 19: Let's Break The Norm Together

                                    

                                          
Eiji Okumura
                          
12 Aug. 2018
                          
I didn't think Ash would like getting presents, he doesn't seem like the type of person who enjoys being the center of attention. But after his strange behavior after unpacking the first present, he started to get a grip of the birthday spirit; acting more cheerful with every gift he unpacked. 
                          
All of the gifts are piled up next to his bed; everything from some shirts I thought will look amazing on him, some books and the top ten of movies. And he states he likes all of them. 
                          
I doubt he actually does, but at least he showed some interest in one of the plaid shirts I picked out for him. He immediately wanted to put it on, so after Shorter was away, I helped him dress. 
                          
There's a strange energy between Ash and me today, and I have to admit that for the first time I felt a little awkward having to see him shirtless while helping him dress. Something about him causes my heart to flutter, like it did when Shorter barged into the room earlier as well.
                          
My heart does that strange thing again when I step back and look at how Ash looks now that he's wearing the red shirt. His hair is in a little ponytail since we're going out for a walk and it's windy outside. And the red suits him much better than the old black and white t-shirts he usually wears.
                          
"Wow," I say under my breath, glaring at Ash with a gaping mouth. 
                          
Ash's nose wrinkles softly before he chuckles and asks, "Wow?"
                          
I feel my cheeks getting warmer when I admit that he looks very good in that shirt and with his hair up like that. It feels strange to say that to a patient, and especially to Ash, since I've been warned not to get too close to him; I'll get hurt that way, Max said, but I feel I'm really connecting with Ash. 
                          
"I notice that," Ash mumbles, pushing himself upright with the help of his crutch. "You're allowed to stop drooling, you know." He nudges me jokily when hobbling past me. 
                          
I wipe past my mouth self-consciously; I wasn't really drooling, was I?
                          
"I was just joking," Ash replies, and I realize he probably saw me wipe my mouth. "Anyway, are you coming, I want to be outside before it's dark outside."
                          
I turn around to see Ash struggling to move his legs, it's getting worse each day, but he really wanted to go out for a stroll today. It's his birthday so I can't ignore his wishes, but I don't know if it's the best idea to push him to his limits like that.
                          
"Yeah, I'm coming," I say, catching up to him within just three steps. "But don't you think it's a better idea to take a wheelchair with us." I pause when I see Ash wincing. "J-just in case."
                          
Ash's expression grows gloomy before he mutters, "I'm not disabled, I don't need a wheelchair." Even though his slurred voice sounds mad, his expression seems sadder than it does angry. 
                          
"I'm sorry," I reply silently. "I didn't mean it that way. I just thought since you want to walk all the way through Central Park and back to the hospital, it would be nice if you can—"
                          
"Give up?" he asks, glancing at me intensely. "No thank you, one crutch is enough. I don't need people to stare at me and pity me for being in a wheelchair."
                          
I take a deep breath and nod; maybe he's right. And if it ends up being too much for his legs after all, we can just go back because Central Park is close enough anyway. I don't know why I needed to bring it up; it's his birthday, so I shouldn't even mention the things that I know make him sad.
                          
Fortunately Ash is in a good mood today, and by the time we walk outside, all his worries seem to blow away with the wind and a smile appears on his face.