Chapter 36: The Rebellious One

                                    

                                          
They had all arrived back at the House of Lamentation. Zach left the group, promising to text Ivy. Lilian was sticking around since she had to keep an eye on her beloved cousin. Mammon stretched. "Ahhhh! Yep, there's really no place like home! This...! This is my kinda place! This chair! This plate! The way the food tastes! I mean, doncha agree? There's really no place like the House of Lamentation, huh Ivy?"
                          
Ivy chuckled at her old friend's antics. He was still the same. "Yep, there's no place like the House of Lamentation!"
                          
"Exactly! Finally, you're startin' to understand what's really great about the Devildom! (He sighs) I've walked through this hall a million times, but after bein' away all this time, I realize I really missed this place...!"
                          
Ivy chuckled. Satan only sighed in exasperation. "Don't be so dramatic. We were only away on our retreat for three days."
                          
Levi turned to him. "Only...? Satan, did you really just say we were ONLY away for three days? I'll have you know that I have 36 Ruri-chan figurines, and they're more important to me than life itself! But they wouldn't all fit in my luggage, so I had to leave half of them here! Eighteen of my figurines, ABANDONED! Left all alone in the House of Lamentation... Do you know what it was like being away from Ruri-chan? Imagine if someone ripped off your arms and legs, chopped them up into tiny pieces, then put the tiny pieces into a wooden pestle and ground them into a fine paste, then kneaded the paste, shaped it into patties, and grilled them up! THAT'S how it felt! And yet here you are telling me it was only three days! I'd APPRECIATE it if you wouldn't be so dismissive!"
                          
Ivy heard her phone ding and looked at the new message. It was from her youngest cousin.
                          
Cousin:
Well, I'm surprised you haven't fainted yet, Ivy.
                          
Ivy:
I'm not that weak.
                          
Cousin (How Ivy saved Lilian):
Oh, yeah.
                          
Ivy rolled her eyes. Honestly, Lilian was a pain sometimes. Asmo chuckled. "Ahaha! Look how serious Levi is! He's honestly mad right now!"
                          
Satan glared at them. "There aren't words to describe how much I can't stand you guys..."
                          
Ivy gave him a bored look. "I thought you were smart. But no, guess you need a dictionary for this, don't you?"
                          
Mammon started to quiver as he put his hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Levi gave her a surprised look. Asmo was giggling. Satan looked extremely pissed with Ivy. Beel clutched his stomach. "Patties... Now I want a cheeseburger..."
                          
Mammon seemed thoughtful. "Cheeseburger, huh..."
                          
Satan glared. "... Enough. Stop it. Don't even speak of human world food."
                          
Asmo hummed (fun game: drink some water for every time I've wrote hummed). "Oh, are you remembering lunch on the last day of the retreat? Ahaha! Sounds like the human world food you guys had was pretty horrible, huh?"
                          
Mammon looked down. "Dunno if disgusting is the right word. More like toxic..."
                          
Beel went silent. Satan nodded. "Yeah, I mean, just the thought of it makes Beel freeze. BEEL of all demons... that's how bad it was."
                          
Asmo placed a hand under his chin. "Well, even so, I'd have to say it was a fruitful trip. For ME, at least..."
                          
Levi rolled his eyes. "Ugh, here we go again. Time to listen to Asmo go on and on about himself and all the wonderful things that happened to him again. So annoying..."