Chapter 8

                                    

                                          
I can't even describe the fury I'm feeling right now, but at the same time, it's like I'm frozen and don't feel anything. 
I'm not even mad at the fact she is in my office. I'm mad at the sight in front of me. She is trying to pick up the pieces of the little house that means so much to me. She doesn't know what she caused by this, she doesn't know what that house represents, she doesn't know how much it breaks me to know it's all ruined now.
"I-I'm sorry...I didn't mea-" she tries to say something but I interrupt her.
"Get out!" I say harshly but try not to scare her away or make her cry again. I don't know why but when I yelled at her last time and when I saw how that affected her, it hurt me to know I was the cause of it.
Her eyes widen and her hands shake as she still holds the pieces and I can see she didn't mean to do this but I'm so angry right now that I can't control myself.
I-it was on accident...I-I swear...I'm so sorry..." she lets out quietly, tears filling her eyes.
"Get. Out!" I now yell and make her flinch but she listens and gets up from the ground, leaving the pieces on the table before she quickly walks past me and out of the room. I heave a sigh and close my eyes for a moment before I slam the door shut and walk towards that table.
I take the pieces in my hand and sigh. How am I going to fix this?
I let the pieces fall out of my hands and kick the vacuum cleaner. I take off my tie and leave my office to go to my room and take a shower to cool down my nerves.
She had to do it again. She had to do something that would make me yell at her and make me a monster. I hurt her again, I scared her again and it hurts me. I don't like yelling at her. I even try to interact with her a bit more these couple of weeks because I want her to feel relaxed and safe here no matter this fucked up situation. But I did it again. I fucking did it again and I don't know if she would be so forgiving as the last time.
I don't know why I feel like this towards her. I don't know why I don't want to see her hurt and scared, especially not by me. I never was mean to women and never yelled at them. Then why am I doing it now? Why am I like this towards her?
All I know is that I hate it, I hate this side of myself. And I know I shouldn't blame anyone else besides me but it all started with this arranged fucked up marriage. It's him who deserves my anger, my father was always the reason for this side of me and I hate that she is the one receiving it.
I have to apologize to her. Again.
...
I go downstairs after I've taken my shower and changed into some comfortable clothes. As I reach the kitchen I stop in my tracks immediately at the look Mari gives me and I already know I'm in deep shit.
She grabs a knife, making my eyes widen but she is still staring at me as she twirls it in her hand. I have to admit I'm fucking scared right now. She is a petite little woman but I know she is capable of doing anything. And since this is about Aria and since I know she came to love that girl, I know I'm not gonna be let off the hook that easily like the last time.
"So..." she starts and stabs the knife in the cutting board in front of her that is filled with vegetables. "You want to explain yourself or you want me to teach you a lesson before you go and apologize to her?" she continues and once again gives me that deadly look.
I gulp and can't believe I'm scared of her but she still has that knife and I'm not trying to lose my life today. "I-I'll explain" I'm quick to answer her and she smirks. "Okay. Go ahead my boy, before you pee your pants" she dares to mock my state but I can't blame her. I really look and feel like a child in front of their parent that is about to scold them.