9

                                    

                                          
Chapter 9 
                          
I must have fallen asleep on the couch. When I woke up it was dark, and the apartment was again cold. I felt so tiered and weakened. I rubbed my eyes and dug my hands into my hair leaving a shaky sigh. I looked over to the clock. It was 3AM in the morning. I looked where the chain was leading to L. He was laying on the floor at the same exact spot where it all started two nights before. Where we kissed, where our worlds collided. I went and laid next to him again parallel and our faces next to each other looking at the ceiling. We laid a couple minutes like this not saying a word, I thought L was sleeping. As I heard a shacky voice in the darkness. 
                          
"I'm sorry Light, I- I didn't, I look, I, I've never felt something like this, and I don't know what's going on, what I want, what I don't want," he mumbled, while biting his fingernails. "You could say I tripped on the feeling of being alive." He stopped and faced his face to mine, a tear escaping from his eye. "I admire you and every time I think of you, I can't believe it. Two souls cannot find each other by a simple coincidence, it was meant to be, you could say it was faith." He paused and gasped for air as he went on in a shacky voice "and the most beautiful part is, I wasn't looking for you when I found you. I found you without looking and loved you without trying." He rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that have already flown. "I wish the universe would have chosen a better timing for you and me," he whispered crying, his voice was breaking.
                          
It was so painful, seeing him so hurt, knowing it was my fault, knowing, knowing how this was going to end, knowing... 
                          
"I love you Light Yagami." 
                          
And suddenly the cold apartment, Tokyo, the moon, the stars, they all disappeared, leaving me and L in a white background. 
                          
Everything simply didn't matter anymore. 
                          
I couldn't hold back my tears. I kissed him; it was the only right thing to do at this point. Suddenly the cold was no more there. I felt nothing. It was a relief. The only thing I felt was L's lips on mine. 
                          
"I'm so sorry L," I said shaking. "I'm so, so, so sorry." I cried in his arms; he was holding me close. I gasped for air. "I'm sorry, for being a monster." He smiled and held me tighter "How could you be, if I love you."
                          
It felt like acid was running out of eyes, every whimpered pained me more and more. L was holding me tight; his head was digging into my hair.