Chapter 30

                                    

                                          
Warning – This chapter contains triggering aspects such as homophobia and violence which some readers may consider disturbing. 
                          
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Some  secrets are not that harmful or important while others can define your  entire lifestyle but all of them have something in common – you can't  keep them forever. At some point in your life you'll realize how hard  and exhausting it actually is to keep something hidden from everyone  you've ever met and soon you'll want to lift that burden off your  shoulders. 
                          
However, if your little secret gets out it could make quite a splash. 
                          
This  may sound like it's really not that big of a deal but that wasn't the  case for me. Maybe you think that I'm exaggerating but I wouldn't agree  on that and once I tell you why you might change your mind. 
                          
A Few Hours earlier...
                          
I  wonder what Andrew and Violet are talking about. She's so annoying.  Every time something good happens, she somehow manages to find a way to  ruin it. Whatever, I'm kind of tired of worrying about her all the time.  I'd rather enjoy this night as long as I can, instead of letting her  ruin my mood.
                          
"So, Jesse, what's up with you and Andrew?" Matt asked me a few seconds after Violet and Andrew left. 
                          
I  was drinking water from the glass and I almost choked on it when I  heard him saying that. At first I thought that it was just because I  wasn't used to all the attention from the popular kids, which I  originally assumed were all horrible people but they didn't seem that  bad now that I actually got to know them. However, soon I realized the  reason behind my strange reaction wasn't the fact that Matt was the one  talking to me. 
                          
It was actually the fact that his question was  about Andrew. Someone I had mixed feelings about. On one hand I liked  certain things about him, for example how caring and protective he could  be. But on the other hand he was also manipulative and overbearing. No  matter how many times I tried I just couldn't make up my mind about him.  He was just too complicated.
                          
"Oh, um... nothing." I muttered awkwardly. "I'm just helping him out with his homework and stuff." 
                          
Matt  looked over to Briana and they smiled at each other as if they just  read each other's minds or something. He then faced me and spoke up  rather friendly. "Well, I was just asking that because ever since you  two became friends he practically erased his old pals from his life." 
                          
I  suppose to some extent that is my fault but I don't think that I am the  sole reason why he's been avoiding his friends. I mean, he had to deal  with Kristen and his father's scandal and the football practices and all  that stuff so it's no surprise he had a difficulty finding free time. 
                          
"We  hardly spend time with each other," I lied. "Except for the few  occasions, like tutoring him and basic human interactions, you know.  He's mostly busy with sports and his studies." 
                          
"It seems like you know a lot about him." Briana joined our conversation. "I didn't realize you two were this close." 
                          
I  suddenly felt very uncomfortable because it was almost like I was being  under an interrogation so my answers became kind of vague just to avoid  any further complications. "As I already said I'm just his tutor. We're  not even friends, really." 
                          
"Sure," Briana chuckled slightly. "Whatever you say." 
                          
"I'm  telling the truth!" I stated defensively, however it came out kind of  rude but at that moment I was more concerned about not blowing out my  cover. 
                          
"I never said you were lying now, did I?" Briana tried to  calm me down. "Look, we're all friend here, you don't have to be so  distressed." 
                          
After I heard that I realized how ridiculous I was being and felt ashamed from my actions.